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Essex girls in heaven
10 Answers
A train hits a bus load of Essex Schoolgirls and they all perish.
They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter.
St Peter asks the first girl (from Southend), "Karen, have you ever had any contact with a mans thing?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger"
St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl (from Chelmsford) the same question, "Joanne have you ever had any contact with a mans thing?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies "Well once I fondled and stroked one."
St. Peter says "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, and the girl from Romford is pushing her way to the front of the line.
When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says "Tracy! What seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies.."If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy water...I want to do it before Lorraine sticks her 4rse in it!!"
They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter.
St Peter asks the first girl (from Southend), "Karen, have you ever had any contact with a mans thing?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger"
St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl (from Chelmsford) the same question, "Joanne have you ever had any contact with a mans thing?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies "Well once I fondled and stroked one."
St. Peter says "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, and the girl from Romford is pushing her way to the front of the line.
When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says "Tracy! What seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies.."If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy water...I want to do it before Lorraine sticks her 4rse in it!!"
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Why does an Essex girl wear green lipstick? Red means stop.
What does an Essex girl put behind her ears to make herself more attractive? Her ankles.
Whats the similarity betwen an Essex girl and a tortoise? When they're on their backs they're both scr*wed.
Whats the difference between an Essex girl and an Essex boy? An Essex girl has a higher sp*rm count.
How does an Essex girl know when she's had an orgasm? She drops her fag.
Whats the difference between a computer and an Essex girl? You only have to punch information once into a computer.
How do you know that an Essex girl has been in your fruit bowl? There's lipstick on your plums.
What does an Essex girl put behind her ears to make herself more attractive? Her ankles.
Whats the similarity betwen an Essex girl and a tortoise? When they're on their backs they're both scr*wed.
Whats the difference between an Essex girl and an Essex boy? An Essex girl has a higher sp*rm count.
How does an Essex girl know when she's had an orgasm? She drops her fag.
Whats the difference between a computer and an Essex girl? You only have to punch information once into a computer.
How do you know that an Essex girl has been in your fruit bowl? There's lipstick on your plums.
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