Have I been conned or what?

[spiff]

I have been living with a bloke for the past 15 months, we have just split up.  I found a question on the answerbank about him not finding me sexually attractive coz i'm 2 fat.  The thing is i've always been this size and he isn't blind.  He moved in with me after a week of meeting him coz he was on his own in a pokey bedsit and suicidal, as he was on benefit he gave me no money for rent, food etc. in fact i gave him money for booze, food, tobacco, bought his clothes, kept him well fed, let him use the internet and watch sky t.v. while i went to work.  He said he loved me but he had no sex drive coz of his medication. I know find this message plus hundreds of porno e-mails on the computer.  Is this the biggest con ever or what?

[georgit79]

Sounds like this guy completely took you in and you're better off without him...I have to say though, I think you have been a bit naive...why did you let him move in with you so soon after meeting him?

 

I say move on and forget this deadbeat- he sounds like a complete loser anyway!

[sexy]

How do you know it was him on AB?

[SGKelloe32]

Yep, he definitly took you for a ride, look on the bright side, at least now you know what he's like, before the subject of marriage or children came up....

[becks]

What are you doing getting into his email account and reading them??

[undercovers]

porno email can be spam, are you sure it was him on AB?

[Moog]

Why don't you post a link to the original question he asked where he called you fat?

[smudge]

You sound too good for your own good spiff.

[daviesbabe]

at one time or another most of us get blagged into loving a loser! myself once or twice-lol the main part i think is that you know your worth ten times more and you think that due to the lack of what they are or worldly goods,you believe that they should treat you like a princess because you know you have lowered yourself and bettered him-the problem is it wears off after real quick and they still treat you like dirt! my sisters big bout a 20 and no beauty and she gets men i wouldnt dream of! i am slim and some looks she once got with a guy that treated her like a queen,had a six pack! Romantic! stunning looks.....cor! then she dumped him and went back to her x, there is the saying big is beautiful! most men love big woman as they believe they wont cheat!

[Dark Angel]

Spiff - you said you were taken for a ride. I think so too. If this guy said he had no physical relationship at all with you for 15 months, and blamed it on medication, while at the same time lived off you, you should have figured that he was a user. But never mind, he's out and as long as you don't make the same mistake twice, you're on the right track. Remember, if someone fools you once, shame on them - If someone fools you twice, shame on you.

[dirtyharriet]

Firstly congratulations! you have just got rid of a parasitic scrounging lowlife. I'll bet your finances are now much healthier? In my (vast) experience we don't look for things that we don't want to see. It's all very well for people to say that you should have seen it coming etc, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Would I be right in assuming that you are a very giving and generous person, maybe a bit low on confidence and a bit self conscious of your perceived size? I think most of us women have had an experience with a loser like this man. They seem to have an inbuilt ability to spot someone who is a bit lonely and vulnerable and exploit the situation to an outrageous degree. From what you've said it sounds as though you welcomed this man into your home and treated him like a king. If I remember my own experience with men like this, they move very fast, declaring undying love and generally sweeping you off your feet. They usually strike when you are feeling at your most vulnerable. My Mr Bast*** appeared after my mother died and I had postnatal depression and had been unceremoniously dumpped by my baby's father. I was so low and in need of love and affection I swallowed all the bulls***. It's all very well for others to judge you for your apparent gullibility. I'm so sorry that someone has abused you this way and I hope that you won't allow this experience to make you bitter and twisted, you are worth more than that. The only thing I would say is maybe wait a bit longer next time before allowing someone to get too close too soon. A decent man won't try to rush you.

[Dark Angel]

spiff - I'm sorry if I came accross as judgemental - I just looked at my previous post and thought it may be misinterpreted. Of course, we have all been taken for a ride at some point in our lives. NOT ONE of us is infallible. And we all have had people tell us that we have been wrong / foolish, which is not nice because these very people have their own share of mistakes. Anyway, take care and wish you all the best. You sound like a very nice person who deserves to be treated much better than you have.