Broken up with boyf on monday but done something silly today!

[katangel26]

Hi I posted on here on Monday cos I split up with my bloke. He popped round this afternoon and we ended up making up, but not in the proper sense if you get me! He knew that my daughter was at play school and he texted me asking what I was doing, in my opinion, knowing what the texts would lead to! I know it's going to go nowhere as he's not the straight forward normal bloke, he's got alot of stuff going on, I do want him but I won't put up with his reactions to his stuff thats going on, thats why I ended it. So basically we've got no future as a couple for now and we both know it. It's almost like we're addicted to each other, in that way! When we're together, we're really into each other and he says the right things as do I, yet when he's gone, I'm back to my normal self and get on with everything as I'm sure he does. Anyone been in this position? I felt really bad after I'd ended it on monday as well and we said our goodbyes then. Yet when he came round today, neither of us mentioned it, we were just normal with each other! Help!

[Poison-Ivy]

Well he's getting his cake isn't he... sorry don't mean to sound harsh but it depends what you want. if you want him bak and have a proper relationship i'd say your going the wrong way about it. Someone once said to me.. "you don't wanna eat when the plateful shoved under your nose do ya"

Keep away from him for a few weeks so you can decide what it is your eally want deep down.

And yes have sort of been there and learnt my lesson well!

[katangel26]

How can he be having his cake and eating it when I finished it?

We both knew what was gonna happen when he came round yet I still asked him round.

I just don't understand my need for him when I know he's gotta sort himself out before it goes anywhere.

[legend759]

Seems he can get it on demand.Bet hes happy with that?Are you though?Being used ?

[Poison-Ivy]

What i mean't was he doesn't really need to sort himself out if he gonna get his "oats" anyway. So you finishing it hasn't really affected him has it, therefore he prob won't sort anything out. As you said you both acted like normal.
Remember you ended it for a reason.. expect a good one at that. Don't wase all your efforts Katangel26.

[katangel26]

Legend I'm not being used, I knew what I was doing today and knew we weren't back together or going to get back together.

Thanks redhead that was what I was going to do, we spoke, text and saw each other alot so I guess it might have felt strange for him not being in contact for a few days.

I'd never be anyones f u c k buddy again, done that with my ex a few years back and although we're still friends, he claims it's still difficult to talk about some things with me although I'm fine to chat about anything!

Don't do things by halves do i!

[Poison-Ivy]

Sorry s/be waste

[katangel26]

I understand your point poison ivy and I did end it for a good bloody reason (love your name by the way!).

He's seeing a specialist at the end of Feb x

[Poison-Ivy]

Good luck to you Katangel
hope you get what you want in the end
hope he gets the help he needs.

fate...If it's meant to be

[Louisa 69]

Hi kat, you ended the relationship because it obviously wasn't working out for you. If you keep asking him round you're sending out the wrong signals. You both know that there is no future together so why prolong it ?

[katangel26]

Hi Louisa, I guess its because after he gets the help that he needs in Feb, there is a better chance for us.

You're right though, although the way we ended it, there was a fine line how we left things.

[Ice.Maiden]

People can get addcited to people, and sometimes, despite knowing someone isn't right for you, it's a case of "better the devil you know". If you still care for each other, then I hope things go alright when your partner gets whatever help he needs, but why settle for second-best when you deserve to have someone with no problems?

[joannie10]

i did this for a while after my 7 year relationship ended - because that was one area of things that were good. Although I was enjoying it at the time I was always annoyed with myself afterwards and realised I was being weak letting him back into my life (it was me that finished it!). anyway as some time went on and I got stronger and sure in myself that I had done the correct thing finishing with him I just moved on and stopped seeing him altogether. Just give it time basically.