best man duties

[wallis1007]

Help! Iv'e just been asked to be best man at a mates wedding in 2 months and I haven't got a clue what it involves. I absolutely hate speaking in public, so at the moment things aren't looking ever so good. Obviously I really don't don't want to let my mate down. Does anyone have any tips or know of any websites that could help.TIA

[PatriciaH]

You can buy a book on e bay : ) itl tell you all you need to know

[LuBlu]

This from a brides point of view, I got married in June.
I'd say that the duties are not just about the speech! Our bestman was fab and it was an honour for us that he was our bestman.

He organised the stag weekend, in consultation with the groom, so the night/weekend was what he wanted. He stayed with the groom the night before, they got ready together and he drove them to the church. He also took control of any of the duties which needed to be done by the ushers. He basically made sure everything was ok before the ceremony,making sure that everyone were in their places when they should be etc.

After the ceremony, he helped out the photographer to get the relevent people into the right groups. He mingled with the guests and made them feel welcome and at ease.
He also made a speech, if you're nervous of this part, be short. There's nothing worse than a nervous speaker rambling on to fill time. (don't tell anything too embarrassing, think - would you want that story to be told about you in front of your Granny and any in-laws?!?!). The bride and groom that have asked you will surely give you pointers of what they want, we said that we didn't want cards to be read out, for example.

Once the meal and evening do got underway, he had one duty - to enjoy himself, he deserved it!!

It sounds like he had loads to do, which in a way he did, but it all flows on the day and he enjoyed it (I hope!) too. We made sure that he wasn't under any pressure by ensuring that he knew in advance what we wanted from our day and he then worked around that.

I know of bestmen who have been used literally like slaves, been expected to do the job of a wedding planner!

Try to relax and enjoy it, the best way to do that is make sure you know what they expect of you. It's no good arriving tipsy if they expect you to take full control, equally don't try to run their day if they want it to be

[ginger85]

most people say think of the audience naked. there is no reason to afraid just say how much of a brilliant person he is how much you have learn�t together and separately. tell some funny stories about your passed with him and then finish withe the sentiment that you couldn�t of wished for a better friend and how lucky he is to have found his soul mate someone that makes himtrully happy and you couldn�t want anything more for your best friend.