Dont know how to put this without sounding stupid but...

[warpig3]

when you give birth do the nurses and midwives tell you how to care for your baby?

I mean, following on from Nats post about bottles, I have a steriliser because I know I need one, just like I have bought all the other stuff I know I need. But do they tell you how 'best' to feed your baby, to bath it, change it, basically all the stuff I don't have a clue about.

Please feel free to laugh and to nominate me for this weeks most stupidest question.

D'oh

[redcrx]

oh hun, thats not a stupid question at all.

I got limited info as i didnt stay in hospital and went pretty much straight to my mums and she knows a fair bit

BUT baby CRX got his first bath at the hospital, the midwife gave us full instruction on how to bath him safely. They also had midwives who were capable of giving advice and help of breastfeeding (be prepared to have your boobs pushed and pulled about a bit)

If you stay in for a day or so they will no doubt help you with everything you need advice on.

Take a parentcraft course if they offer them, that helps too.

Its a very steep learning curve but there will ALWAYS be someone prepared to help and or listen.

You will also see your midwife at home up until baby is 10 days old and they will give you any advice you need.

oh and we are here too!! :)

[redcrx]

as for the rest, cuddling, snuggling, loving, that all comes naturally :)

[warpig3]

Thank god for that redcrx, am starting to panic a bit because I realise that I know nothing. Added to that is the fact that I have no family or friends over here to ask(poor me, lol).

It just seems the more I know the more I realise I know very little if that makes sense.

Wonder if there is an 'idiots guide' I could buy, it not perhaps I should write one.

Tell you what though, boy am I glad you lot are here!

[4getmenot]

I'm safe in the knowledge that I saw baby redcrx grow up

[natalie_1982]

Hey warpig - glad I am not alone! Seems this baby malarky is a tad more difficult than caring for a hamster, which is about as much experience as I have.

As for help at the hospital I guess it depends on the individual hospital. My friend had an awful experience; she said she wasn't told anything and spent the night wide awake in case anyone tried to steal her daughter - she had no reassurance from staff and didn't actually see anyone throughout the night despite asking a nurse 3 times for help with feeding. She didn't have any help when it came to feeding, bathing or changing, but luckily one of the other new mums on the ward came to her aid and showed her how it is done.

I am going to a Parentcraft session on March 1st, which I arranged through my midwife, and as red has suggested, they are supposed to be very useful for us first tmiers in particular.

[warpig3]

Thanks Nat, forgot about the other mums on the ward. I am going to antenatal classes but they forgot about me and I wont finish the course before the baby is born.

I have to go to the midwife this afternoon so will try and pick her brains, I know there is really nothing to worry about and all will be fine, sometimes I think I think too much.

Redcrx, remember ages ago I was asking about when the baby would start kicking and you said just wait until it starts moving like an alien, well its started (no more room to kick), how weird is it, seriously! Freaky deaky or what!!! It really is like something out of the movies.

4get, I too am reassured that littlecrx has grown up fine too, am gonna have your sister tortured!

[redcrx]

better to think too much than not enough!

good idea, speak to your midwife and see what she suggests. There are so many baby books out there but really you can only learn on the job so to speak.

I will offer one peice of advice. Be calm, even if your panicking underneath. Babies can pick up if a mum is stressed and a relaxed mum can help towards a calmer baby. This makes it a lot easier to know if baby is crying for something like food, nappy change or illness.

[Psychick]

Hi warpig, Im thinking along the same lines myself with only a 5 weeks to go and Ive been here before! lol Its amazing how much you forget in 7 years. I even sat and read the info on the link red posted on natalies thread about steraliser because Ive forgotten all that. I can remember when I was pregnant before and looking through the baby clothes I had and thinking, anything small enough to fit in them, Im going to break! lol Luckily I didnt, she has always remained in one piece! I had my daughter in hospital and the first thing I was shown was how to breastfeed and this was done within minutes after she was born because its part of the bonding process and apparently, the sooner they do it the better it is for mother and baby. Sadly that is all I was shown. I missed the bathing demonstration the next day because it was in the afternoon when I was supposed to be home already (hospital took all day to give me my discharge notes!)But I was lucky enough to have my mum at home waiting to help me. I had trouble settling my daughter the first night (in hospital) and asked for help. I was told to let her latch on and go to sleep in bed with me. Something I really was against as I didnt want to start habits like that but had no choice as they werent prepared to help me out and I was exhausted and quickly losing the plot! .........

[Psychick]

.......Having the midwife visiting me at home, then my health visitor was a blessing because anything I had problems with and all the questions I had, they helped with and we soon settled down and got on with it. You'll be surprised what comes naturally and you do without even thinking about it. One thing that did help me keep my sanity though, if ever baby is screaming but your busy, say getting a bottle ready, or baby wont settle down for a nap and you seem to be spending an eternity rocking it, just keep saying to yourself, he/she has to go to sleep at some point, this wont last much longer. It always helped me remain calm and sure enough, she would eventually settle then I could finally put my feet and rest too.

[Psychick]

Oh and as for movements, mine was sticking a foot out last night and I kept touching it. Everytime I did, baby moved it but I kept following it and kept touching. Me and my boyfriend found it quite amusing, we could even pretty much see the size of the foot! I think I gave baby the hump though because it gave me one hell of a wallop! lol

[Goodsoulette]

Bless you, are there parentcraft classes in your area. That might be of some use to you. FInd someone with a baby and hang around them like a bad smell too lol
Don forget the midwife is there to help you after you give birth for ten days too. If you need more visits than the average warpig from the midwife and health visitor, so what? It doesn't matter.

Midwives wont let you go home unless you can demonstrate you are capable of feeding the baby. You'll be encourage to try and feed after your skin to skin.

Steralise everything you put in baby's mouth apart from nipples obviously.

They definitely will help you change nappies in there (soapy water and cotton wool is best on baby's bottom for the first few weeks as it is much gentler than wet wipes, so take a little tub to put the warm water and baby bath in just in case they dont have any foil tubs on your maternity unit)

I was living with my mum when I was pregnant with my first child and she was due two months before me herself, so I suppose Idont realise how lucky I was to have that much contact with a newborn in those months before hand.

My big worry was that I would have to be completely naked whilst delivering, as thats all you ever see in books. This isn't true either just incase you were wrrying about that too lol

[Hellyon]

Hi Warpig - just remember the human race has managed to survive despite the fact that when it started there were no midwives, hospitals, self help manuals etc. Honestly nature is a wonderful thing and it is truly amazing how it can kick in when you have a baby. I was the most unmaternal, disinterested in other peoples babys person ever, but something kicked in and instinct takes over.
Don't be afraid to ask the professionals but I did find they could be unhelpful or patronising, and I used to end up telling my health visitor things lol!

Also re, the equipment don't buy everthing the mags and catologues tell you you need, most of it you don't need at all, each baby and mum is different and what works for one baby doesn't always work for another, so play it by ear and buy stuff as you need it. If people loan it you accept it because they grow so fast somethings you only use for a few weeks.

Finally - don't forget there's lots of experienced Mum's on here and you only have to ask!

[redcrx]

how about we start a thread with what we do and dont need. best and worst buys etc?

[annie0000]

I have to tell you a story about a friend of mine.

She had very limited experience of babies having been an only child and marrying an only child.

When her son was born, he had swallowed some of his poo and had to go to the special babycare unit and apart from visits etc she hadn't changed his nappy or anything until he was presented back to her at about 3 days old. As is inevitable, the first night she had him back he was crying and she saw he had a dirty nappy. She was clueless, so pressed the bell for some help from the midwife. It being night time and very quiet, the midwife took pity on her and showed her how to bath and change and dress the baby.

They went home and a few weeks passed. Her mum's daily visit happened to coincide with a poo and my friend happily stripped, bathed and changed the baby. Her mum said, "didn't he already have a bath this morning?"

"Yes, came the response, but don't you always bath them every time they have a poo?"

I think she must have had the cleanest baby in Scotland!

So, no it is not a stupid question - depending on how long you are in hospital, you will have different opportunities for help and advice, but never be scared to ask. If I remember correctly, aren't you going into St John's? Another friend had her baby there (not the friend above!) and they were very good at explaining everything.

I am sure that you will cope - anyway, they do come with a comprehensive manual that tells you everything........only joking, you get better instructions when you buy a kettle!

[Hellyon]

Actually Warpig there really is a manual!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Haynes-Baby-Manual-Con ception-Years/dp/1844250598/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 &s=books&qid=1201032623&sr=1-1
Mr Warpig will love it.

[nat_84]

Hi warpig, you are feeling exactly the same as every other woman that's having a baby!!

I seriously had not come in contact with a baby until mine was born... had not changed a baby, fed a baby, only held a new born baby for the first time when my fellas nephew was born two months before my own... so its a bloody terrifying propect of havinf full responsibility of your own baby!!

My midwives didnt tell me anything... i was stiched up and could barely move, i had a bad experience and am too bloody shy and feel like a pain in the backside having to call the midwives 24/7 to help... so the two nights i spent in hospital were horrible for me... but just dont be scared to ask!!!! (like me).

When i first changed her nappy, i put in on back to front and all sorts lol!!

Looking back it was funny but at the time it wasnt!

When i got home everything came naturally, her first bath was lovely and i think most things come with common sense.

You'll be fine!!! (and if your not just pop onto AB lol) xxx

[warpig3]

Thank you all so, so much. You girls are brilliant. Its reassuring to know that I am not alone in either thinking this way and that I have you lot to help!!!!!

thank you for all your words of encouragement and advice, you have no idea how much it has helped.

GS , find someone with a baby and hang around them like a bad smell, I like the way you think!

Yes Annie I am going to St Johns and I must say I have heard good reports thankfully.

Hellyon thank you for the link, I love the title - Baby, owners workshop manual, lol, how apt! Have just ordered it.

Fortunately (for me) I havent bought any of the magazines in the shops, in fact I have purposely avoided them fearing too much info and the promotion of unnecessary items. Truth be told I have relied on the info you girls have given me, where better to get it than from the source!

I did speak to my midwife yesterday and she laughed saying if she had a pound for everytime someone asked her that she would be loaded. She basically said everything that you have all said including the sometimes patronising attitude of some hospital staff. she said just to ignore it and persist, thats their job.

Again, thank you all, it is really appreciated.

warpig XXX

[aims1202]

The best advice i was given about feeding (that is if you breast feed) was to keep asking the midwives to help you latch the baby on properly and to check every time that they are on properly. this helps to stop you getting sore as well as baby getting a good feed. also put lanolin cream on your nipples before every feed and before they start to get sore, it wont harm baby. remember you usually have to keep asking for help in hospital as most do not offer help.
good luck