Dealing with my ex

[lil123]

Hi
can anyone give me any advice on dealing with my ex
We have been divorced a while and he comes to collect my son to have contact with him
He will then send me nasty texts messages later on saying things about my apperance or what ever he feels
My marrige to him was very abusive which is why I left
Has anyone had a similar experience and how did they cope with it
One thing is sure though I am so glad I left when I did

[Sugar&spice]

Mr Bean i really don't think that is very helpful!

[mrs_overall]

I recommend you don't answer any of the abusive texts. Bullies thrive on reaction so don't go there.
I'd save all the abusive texts. You could then write a letter or get a solicitor to write a letter saying that if the texts continue you will consider taking out a restraining order to stop the harrassment. I'd also point out that the Family Court might take a dim view of his actions - is a person who sends abusive texts a fit and proper person to have contact with your child?
Good luck.

[Ice.Maiden]

Mrs O's said it all - apart from congratulations for having the presence of mind to get rid of your unpleasant ex!
Of course, ignoring the texts is your best bet, and if he makes desparaging comments, don't "bite". Just laugh it off, and pretend you didn't hear him properly. Verbal bullies get their kicks from seeing you get upset. try letting it all wash over you, and then if it doesn't work - Mrs. O's advice is very sensible.

[D143237G]

My daughter had a very similar experience vwith her now ex-husband. She did exactly as Mrs Overall has advised. To cut a long story short he lost his contact rights. Once this happened she could change her number (she had to let him have her number while he had contact rights) and now he doesn't have it she never sees or hears from him. Whatever you do don't take up me bean's advise. Don't you just hate w*nk*rs like him that spoil things. There are just too many of them on this site. Lets just pray that one day they wil grow up.

[clare_1]

I was in an almost identical situation. I ended up getting him warned by the police under the harrassment act. Eventually he came to see what an ass he had been and now we can be civil. He tries to be friendly now but in my eyes its too late for that and I talk to him only if i need to.

If it persists firstly go to the police with the texts as they have to see some proof. They will get him warned which means he cannot come near you or ring you or will be arrested.

[lil123]

Thanks for all the advice
I am going to court on Thursday to get a order stopping him from harrasing me
If it still continues then I will have to take him back to court for the contact he has with our son
Hopefully one day I will meet someone who treats me with respect
please no more comments from Mr Bean!! x

[tufty7]

lifes too short to be un happy , you did the right thing getting rid of him , All men are not like that , I hope you find what you are looking for and you and your son enjoy your time together ....

[123everton]

It seems to me your faced with three options:- (1) Ignore it. I could'nt.
(2) Save the texts, and inform your solicitor, good idea.
(3) Give him a taste of his own medicine, are you going bald? My your hair's getting grey, have you not been well (mock sincerity)? You look awful! You look so old, not George Clooney old but Menzies Campbell old. You're getting fat, another inch on your belly and it'll obscure your 3 inch willy. I did'nt know you suffered from premature ejaculation until you climbed off me, it was only when you'd finished I'd realised we were having sex!

[evedawn]

what an annoying man!

If i were you i'd just try rise above it and ignore him - why spend the emotional energy thinking about him and his stupid remarks. what an idiot he is! He's obviously not over you yet.

[signsofgoing]

Delete the texts WITHOUT even reading them. He is OBVIOUSLY doing this just to GET AT you..Been in the same position & once ignored the message will sink in that he is wasting his time..Dont Retaliate as that is EXACTLY what he wants.. Best Wishes Honey X.

[unrulyjulie]

no more to add lil other than to say, excellent advice from mrsoverall.

good on you for getting rid!!! All the best

[gonzo00]

i suggest you get some local ruffian types to interview him! im sure if they tie him to a chair and break both his shins with a crowbar then give him a good rub down with some bleach and a wire brush you won't have any more problems. this usually costs around �350 but prices will vary according to region.

[pingping]

lol at gonzo!

[CAJ1]

I sympathise with you, I was in the same position. Go to court and get a non-molestation order out against him. Contact Woman's Aid who can advise you on matters and will also attend court with you if you want. Make sure you report him for anything he does no matter how small. I left my ex in 2006 and the last time I heard from him was last July. He got hauled in front of the court and told if he does it again he will go to prison. It does work eventually. Good luck!

[lil123]

Hi CAJ1
I went to court yesterday and got a non molestation order on him and if he threatens me again he will be arrested
I feel so much better
Women's aid are fantastic as they have supported me throughout even when I was still with him and living with the
violence I never felt they judged me and gave me time and space to make my own detition to leave
I will get there