Help for a child dealing with bereavement

[mummytait]

Our family lost a very close personal friend recently and my 9 year old boy is struggling to deal with it. He is going through very normal grief in quite an intelligent way but I wondered if anyone could recommend a book suitable for his age which might help him to understand?

A religious text would not be helpful in this case.

[eah]

Badger`s Parting Gift was a lovely book I used in school but child was 8 years old.If you google the subject there is a booklist which gives you all suitable titles age specific.Hope that helps....

[toby99]

I can't recommend a book, but I have learnt from my daughter, who is a similar age, that it is best to let them cry and actually encourage them to cry whenever they want to and as much as they want to. When my daughter lost her beloved pet, who was everything to her, I tried to push her grief away and change the subject to something exciting to try and take her mind off it, but after a while I noticed that she was not getting over it. When she next got upset I just held her and let her cry for ages and it really helped. She still has her moments and I stop what I am doing and just hold her until she stops crying and tell it is ok to feel like that and that I feel upset too. I am sorry for your loss.

[jack daniels]

I agree with toby and let the grief come out, there may be some anger so it might be an idea for you as a family to go and smash some plates or something, letting your cries out at the same time (let the neighbours know first!)
At a point when it seems right you could also do something together in rememberance like plant something special in the garden or buy a 'special' ornament to remember them by, let your son be a very active part in the decision making.
You could ask the family for something as a keepsake of the personal friend - if you feel it could help

[Solarjunkie]

This organisation may offer some help
http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/

Good luck.

[mummytait]

Thanks everyone. I'm doing all that you've suggested. I guess it 's just going to take some time.

I appreciate the help

[tubeway]

My best friend died when I was 9 years old (He was run over and I witnessed the accident - he died in hospital 3 days later). It is now 35 years on and I still remember my friend. I remember being absolutely devestated at the time - but children will move on (as will adults). It is not easy for anyone to lose a friend at any age, and it is hard for a parent to see their child suffering - but give them time, support and love and they will heal. My youngest son lost a friend in (spookily) similar circumstances at a similar age - and it bought back lots of memories of what I went through - because of this I was able to talk to my son about his friend and he said later that this helped.
I cant recommend any books - just love and support - and the knowledge that in time your child will feel much better.

RIP Gary Steele 1962-1971
RIP Wayne "Chicken" Westall 1987-1997

[thingummyjig]

lloyds pharmacy sell books by sarah ferguson, and one is about a child who loses someone close, I'm not sure what age range they are aimed at; but you could do what I did and read it in the shop first (felt a bit of a wally cos I was crying by the time they called out my name when precription was ready though!) they are reasonabley priced at �2.99 as well!