Dilemma!!

[Gill 05]

I received a parcel today with pressies in it for my kids and I from a mate who no longer wishes to speak to me. The parcel was posted before the fall out.

Should I keep the pressies or return them to him?

[4getmenot]

keep them, they sent them and returning them will make you look pathetic. If they then ask for them back just say ok and they look the pathetic ones

[moonshadow]

The pressies are for the children not you, it's not their fault. Keep them

[unrulyjulie]

Hi Gill,
Im sure your friend would like the children to keep the presents. It isnt them he has fallen out with is it. As adults we shouldnt see the children involved in our fall outs. If i was the friend, no way would i want the presents back .

[Gill 05]

moonshadow, some of them were for me.

[4getmenot]

whether they are for you or children they were a present keep them

[cazzz1975]

to be on the safe side I would return it. just in case he uses it as an excuse to carry on the arguement, although returning it may also fuel one!!

doh!

[focussed]

Personally i think you should open and keep the presents.They were sent and offered in good faith and accepted in the same way.Perhaps a thank you note to the sender might be a step in the right direction towards rekindling the friendship.

[cazzz1975]

tis true 4get

[4getmenot]

but if he does you send it back then and they look stupid. You sending back when they havent exoected to get it back might upset them and make you look vindictive

[4getmenot]

why have you fallen out, is it that much a big deal to lose a friend over

[cazzz1975]

keep the gifts and send a thank you card, that sounds to be the best course of action.

[Gill 05]

I texted the person in question to thank them. He ignored me.

I'd rather not go into why we fell out, but I didn't think it was serious enough to lose a friend over.

[leelapops]

Agreeing with the "keep and thank" notion! Hope you can at least make some kind of peace, Gill, I hate to lose friends-in fact I have only really done so once, and she slept with my boyfriend and proceeded to go out with him. Suffice to say, sometimes forgiveness is too much to deal with.

[4getmenot]

Well if you have txt balls in his court, if you are an important friend they will come back xx

[figure]

Send him a thank you note. You might get a reaction as to how he feels. Then you could decide if you should keep them or return them.

[figure]

That should read note or card.

[cazzz1975]

at least if you sent a thank you card, you can then close the matter feeling happy that you have done the right thing.

[leelapops]

I agree, Gill. I don't think it's a game of one-upmanship, trying too hard to be seen to be doing the 'right' thing, but I do think that at least if you have acted with goodwill and integrity, your friend hasn't got much comeback, and you can rest easy.
x

[haysi06]

Now Gillian, more importantly, was there chocolate in this parcel? I am kidding mate.

I think you should keep the presents, they were sent when your mate was talking to you and am sure that they would want you to keep them. If you sent them back then I think that may be regarded as being a bit petty and may excascerbate the situation. I bet that he is probably on the verge of getting in touch with you and resuming your friendship and realises that he has been rather harsh in cutting off contact with you. :)

Hxx