Do I have any legal rights???!

[Munchkin1]

My husband left me and our young daughter just over 3 years ago to move in with his new girlfriend.

Since then, he has bullied, intimidated and threatened me into taking out a substantial loan for him (�10k), giving the brand new Landrover that he'd brought for me to his new girlfriend (leaving me with an old banger!) and selling the matrimonial home (the profits from which he said he'd repay the loan I took out for him, and give me another �10k to buy a car). Since then, he has neither repaid his debt to me or brought me the car.

I had to purchase another car out of the proceeds from the sale of the former matrimonial home, and the rest of the money I received from the sale was used as a deposit for the house I had to buy for my daughter and I.

Despite continued assurances from him that he will keep his promises, he has not. He earns in excess of �100k pa (I earn �15k!), and I can't afford to consult a solicitor because I don't qualify for legal aid because my earnings are too high!!!!

Please can anyone help me...I need to know if I have any legal rights here...can he be made to repay this money to me? We are not yet divorced (because part of his abuse is that he refuses to divorce me), and if I bring it up he tells me that if I want to "get nasty" with him, he will "get nasty" with me, and completely stop paying maintenance for his daughter (which is at best erratic). I am at my wit's end, and as he currently owes me 3 month's maintenance, am finding it really, really, difficult to cope financially. Is there anything I can do???

Thank you.

[up4it]

Sounds like you need an assassin !!!

As you are still legally married you would then get all his assets lol

[Munchkin1]

LOL!! Thanks for making me smile!!! :-D

[jaycee401]

can you not divorce him on grounds of adultery. As up4it says you are entitled to his assets and don't forget his pension!
Good luck x

[Munchkin1]

Thanks jaycee401, I can divorce him on the grounds that we've been separated over 2 years - but I can't afford the solicitor at �160 an hour (plus!).

I daren't go against him in so much as I know that the first thing he'll do if I defy him (i.e. start proceedings) would be that he'll stop paying maintenance for our daughter, which I just cannot afford to loose, as it's all that's (barely) keeping our heads above water at the moment...

I just really want to know if there's any legal way that he will be made to pay up...at the moment I don't think there is, so I'm loathe to do it (start financial proceedings against him) if there's no legal way that he can be compelled to repay what he has promised me.

If I'm wrong, and there is a legal way that he can be compelled to repay me, then I will borrow the money for the legal action off my dad, as I know I'd be able to pay him back after my ex has paid me; but I wouldn't want to do that unless I was absolutely sure that I'd get the money back from my ex as my dad is a pensioner and he needs his savings!

Thanks for your kind words though! :-) x

[themas]

He must have an expensive lifestyle if he earns over �100K & needs to bully you into taking out a loan for him!

If you have evidence that you loaned him this money and that it is due back to you (in other words, is there something in writing or copies of bank statements or witnesses of conversations?) then you can take Court action to get a County Court Judgement against him. But this would presumably start the same problem as you are worried about - i.e. he would stop the maintenance, so would you really be any better off?

It seems to me that until you are in a position to bite the bullet and go for divorce (which will include a financial settlement that could include him settling the �10K debt) you won't be able to move on.

Are you sure you are not entitled to legal aid? (This cannot be obtained for the divorce itself but it can be for the "ancillary matters" - i.e. all the difficult ones about money & children. Go to www.clsdirect.org.uk where there is an online calculator for eligibility.

[froggequene]

Speak to the Citizens Advice Bureau & report him to the CSA.