How do I convert to Islam?

[R1Geezer]

There is really something missing in my life I'm fed up with drinking, Gambling, womanising etc, so I'm thinking of selling the old R1 buying a copy of the Koran and boning up on the prophet. Will I reach enlightenment and contentment this way? Do I just stroll up to the nearest Mosque and ask to be converted or what? Any advice would be most welcome.

[4GS]

Someone call an Ambulance,
this user has gone insane!!!!!

Geezer, if you keep up these insane posting I'm gonna have to shoot you

[Octavius]

If you are really serious, then it has to be one step at a time. The first step is to get yourself circumcised.

Worry about Step 2 afterwards.

[R1Geezer]

You mean I have to sail round the world first? Seems harsh but I never thought it would be easy.

[R1Geezer]

Have you anyone in mind Raggy?

[Octavius]

Well you could behead your little soldier as I suggested. I wouldn�t recommend stoning it. Well not unless you never intend to use it again.

[Twenty20]

boning up on the prophet

Unfortunate turn of phrase!

[eyeshade]

Its ages since I went to a good stoning! Can I bring Big Nose?

[RATTER15]

I think you first need to buy a long dress thing with plenty of room for concealing things, and then ask your mates, whilst looking in a mirror : does my bomb look big in this?grow a wirey beard that looks rediculous (no moustache though) and call yourself Mustaffa!! be carefull not to call yourself Mohamed, I think a teddy bear was beheaded for such a crime!!

[RATTER15]

I think the beadrs only applies to the men, not sure really as the women all wear masks, maybe they just plain ugly woman!! I dunno!!

[whiskeysheri]

Hello, RATTER! Hope you're well x

[RATTER15]

Im very well thanks Whiskey!!!!!

[spaced]

RIGeezer, your a joker mate! Love it. in all seriousness mate, you know from past posts that I share your views on this subject, but...if you REALLY want a life of peace and enlightenment forget becomming a muzza, become a Buddhist Monk

[spaced]

http://www.wle.com/media/SL1513.jpg

[smudge]

Ratter's back, he, he! ;o}

[smudge]

Squeak, squeak!

[R1Geezer]

well I phoned the Islam hotline and told them I was feeling a little depressed and could I join up? They kept asking me if I could fly a plane dunno what that was all about!

[smudge]

On the back of a Wetherspoon's menu, it reads:

Our Licolnshire sausage won the 2006 Gold Award from the British Pig Executive.

Wonder why they never gave their name?!

[smudge]

*Lincolnshire even!