sad

[homerbart]

Very sad today as it is my nephew's third anniversary - he was only 33 and drowned in Thailand.

Not in Tsumi but at a private pool on holiday. I did not want him to go because of the Tsuma but he was a big boy. He was my sister's only child and she absolutely doted on him. There was always only her and him and their world. She has an obituary in the local paper this morning and every year it breaks my heart to read it. I get so depressed around this time because my sister wont talk about it or him. I am wanting to scream. She has been like this all along and I worry all the time if inside her head she is cracking up. This is my second nephew who died, my brother's son aged 15 was shot dead 10 years ago. Please pray for me as I am so sad and crying as I write this. Bless you all

[4getmenot]

You shouldnt be sad, you should be happy that you got to spend time with them while they were alive. So I wont pray for you, I will pray that they are both safe somewhere.

[jane1098]

god bless homebart.
remember the good times. thats what they would want.
jane x

[sense4all]

Anniversarys are always tough on all of us! It seems especially cruel when the rest of the world seems immune to our pain and suffering. I feel for you Homie, keep your pecker up - get out the fun photos and have a look at the good times you shared. <<< Hugs to you >> love Sense.

[cazzz1975]

How very sad, I dont think you ever get over the sudden loss, to echo jane, they wouldnt have wanted you to remember their demise, more to remember the happy times which keeps their memory alive

[pips1]

I totally agree with Cazzz and Jane - remember the good times you all had. I realise it is hard to do that when you are feeling such pain, but remember they will be forever young in your memory and that helps!! God bless x

[netibiza]

At least they enjoyed what they were doing. I would love to lock my child up in a safe room forever to keep her from harm, but she has to live her own life and do what she needs to do. And this is what your nephew did.

[homerbart]

thanks everybody for your kind words - yes you are right in a pickle. My sister whilst of course she knows he is dead - she is in denial.

She did not go to the funeral and has never been to his grave nor ever will. I had to deal with his burial - both physically and financially. It was so hard as also we had to wait about 7-9 days on him coming home from Thailand.

I will never ever forget this. I dont think I will be ever truly happy again for the rest of my life because of this hanging over my and my sister's head. You just go through the motions of life and life goes on all around you.

My other nephew who was shot dead - his mother died 2 years later with a broken heart leaving 4 small sons. She died of malnutrition - she could not eat and so I wonder how and where does my sister get consolation if she does. My friends tell me that God is with her somehow but if she could talk to me about it maybe I could get console and help her.

[Drisgirl]

O hun -this is so tough for you and your family.

Sudden deaths are without doubt the ones which are hardest to bear.
Please dont be too hard on your sister -I believe at the time she lost him her life wasnt worth the living she has only probably existed for the past 3 years.

For you -well it hardly goes without saying that your life was radically changed on both occasions -for life.

You either sink or swim -looks like you have chosen to swim although you are battling.Stick in hun x

I'm sure at some point in your life you will be able to think about those awful tragedies without the feeling you heart is being ripped out.Its early days -but remember 'We are here for a good time not a long time'
Neither one of us literally know whats round the corner.
Any consolatoon -I firmly believe that out loved ones look over us -I saw my Nannie after she passed on and what was lying there was just a vessel for her soul -it was just empty.I got comfort from that.
I hope that you and the rest of the family can look to the future as the past is past -o to turn back the clocks -their time was up -I am a fatalist thats why we should all live for the moment.

I am so very sorry for your grief -its dreadful xxxxx