Divorce settlement

[station4]

My husband and i are currently going throught a divorce and are going to mediation. We have two children that live with me in a rented house while my ex still lives in our marital home. My argument is that I should be entitled to more of the equity as 1. i have the children with me the majority of the time and 2. becasue he is basically living with someone else i.e spending at least 6 nights together. They were staying at my house until he read in the form E that you get form the solicitor about living with another person in the next six months. his girlfriend also has a house with a very small mortgage so if he gets 50% they will end up with a mortgage of about �30000 while me and my kids will end up with a mortgage of about �125000. Since he read form E he has been staying at her house. If i call him early in the morning or late at night (just to see this is!!) he does not answer then the next day he calls to say he was in the shower. Baring in mind I drop my children off everyday and have to drive past the house and I know he is not there??? Has anyone had experience of this???

[Mamjet]

I think if you're spending lots of time calling up your soon-to-be-ex husband late at night and first thing in the morning, then you need to sort yourself out.
stop drinking, for a start.

[CheekyChops]

I don't see what him living with someone else has got to do with anything. You can't take into account what his girlfriend owns, she has nothing to do with it.

Calling him early morning and late at night is ridiculous, you will only annoy him and it could even be classed as harrassment.

You may be entitled to a larger share of the equity because of the children (how old are they?) but not because he stays over at his girlfriends house.

[pips1]

Sounds like he wants it all his way - they always do! He has his new woman and no kids but it's never enough. I feel so sorry for you going through all this - I know what I'm talking about as I went through the same. I didn't even get told what a Form E was and then was in contempt of court for not filling in one!! Fight him all the way, don't end up like me losing everything. Good luck. I could go on for pages but it just brings back the bitterness.

[Le Chat]

It does make a difference if your ex is living with someone as it impacts on their over all standard of living. I was told that the opposing solicitor was within their rights to have a private detective surveying the house to check if this was going on. Of course, unless you are on full legal aid, it would have to be paid for out of your own pocket.
Please don't be misled by all these high profile divorce cases where the wife gets the lot.
I ended up having to pay off my ex husband �30k. We had a house (paid for by myself, with no mortgage, when I had a very successful business before I met him) I was a housewife with a small child and no income (obviously) or much in the way of savings.
He had a flat, which he had rented out whilst we were married and subsequently moved back to. To cap it all, he didn't turn up for the first 2 court hearings, took my car and never returned it and now pays only �10 per week for his son, even though he has a villa in Spain and lives a champagne lifestyle!

[station4]

Its actually my ex that has been doing the harrassment and it only because of the children that he not had injunction. by calling him at night/early morning i mean maybe once a week regarding the children nothing else and not sure what the comment about drinking means?? do you mean water? He basically denying that he having relationship . why should he be able to keep our �200000 house and i live in a manky rented one with the children and can't afford to buy when he could sell and buy a cheaper one.

[Mamjet]

Look at it the other way - why should he have to fork out for his mad ex-wife for the rest of his life??

Have you thought about getting a job? Working for a lliving? Or are you too busy making your late night obscene phone calls and thinking about ways to grab his hard-earned cash...

[station4]

I work 30 hours a week while my children are at school

[station4]

and who said my calls are obsene??

[CheekyChops]

He shouldn't be allowed to live in a �200,000 whilst you live in a manky rented one. Go to court, force the sale of the house and split the equity so that you can buy somewhere or at least rent somewhere that's not manky!

[Bohne]

I don't know where all the animosity in this thread comes from.
I have no idea where you stand legally, and have never been through a divorce, so I cannot help you there.

I, however, think, as soon as your almost ex starts hiding and lying about things, he's in the wrong.

If you work, you should not be dependent on him financially, but the children are his, too, and they deserve a life as good as the two of you can afford, jointly.

Get a professional to help you!