How do you know if a person is THE ONE or not?

[lil123]

I have met someone and I never felt like I do about him with anyone
BUT as I am CRAP at relationships and have had 2 VERY bad ones I am trying to be so careful yet I can't help the way I feel about him

[bensmum]

Good morning lil123.
I am pleased for you that you have met someone. The first weeks of a new relationship are lovely but I would only say be careful and get to know him before you get too involved.
Good luck

[funnygirl]

The way you're feeling is one of the good signs.

You cannot wait to see that person, you get butterflies in your stomach!
You want to do everything for that person, maybe buying little gitfs.

This person is always on your mind and when you talk, you start dropping his name into conversations.
Just thinking about him makes you smile.

It must be love, love, love.......

[Richie1976]

Sounds like he's making you THUMP.

[helliebobs]

lil123 don't put pressure on yourself, no need to rush into anything just see where it takes you. x

[lil123]

Yep, I am being VERY careful but I can just tell by the way he speaks to me and treats me he is just so nice
After being in a relationship that was abusive for so many years it is just so nice to finally meet a man who is like him
I have told him I am taking it very slow and he has accepted this which to me is a excellent sign in its self as usually I feel I just have to do what they say
I also feel I can just be myself and I have NEVER felt like that with anyone ever

[4getmenot]

I;d go for what funnygirls said but then all love is different. my first love I will always love as true love never dies and I used to get all the feelings funnygirl mentions but it just wasnt meant to be. The bloke I am with now wasnt like the usual so wasnt sure how I felt till he went away and I missed him like crazy

[pips1]

I agree with everthing funnygirl said as well. I felt exactly like that for my husband until he decided he wanted out - but it will never change how I felt, it will always be with me. I think you have met a really nice understanding guy who seems to be happy to wait, you surely deserve happiness after all you went through. Has he an older brother for me? x

[China Doll]

Ask them?

I don't agree with funnygirl, to me all that sounds like is infatuation and possibly the bit that comes in the beginning of a relationship when you're all giddy and silly. Those feelings would be pretty hard to sustain over any length of time.

Also I think the concept of 'the one' is a load of tripe too, I think we can be compatible with many people out there but just some more so than others. Only time will tell if you have met someone you can go the distance with and that relies more on companionship and friendship and trust than any outdated notions of romance.

Hope it works out for you.

[Hellyon]

Hi Lil - There is a lot of emphasis on THE ONE now but - and please regard this as caring advice from someone older who has experienced more relationships - what funnygirl says is correct BUT you can feel that way about someone who is a total sh1t, feelings of first love are also feelings of sexual attraction and they can wear off. THE ONE is someone you can share the rest of your life with and, unromantic as it sounds, after the first flush of attraction wears off the rest of your life does usually include mundane day to day stuff and sometimes quite hard times. Bearing that in mind I would say you should always take of the rose coloured glasses and look at this person honestly. Is he kind to you, does he help/listen when you have problems, is he supportive of your ambitions, does he make you feel good about yourself, is he reliable, does he help around the house (really boring but can be a huge problem when you live with someone if they never help you practically) the list is endless, in short is he a friend as well as a lover, someone who you KNOW will stick by you through thick or thin. If you actually look at him in this light and think 'actually I don't 'like' you very much' then he may not be THE ONE. If he meets the criteria then he is!!

I say this as someone who thought she had met THE ONE when I was 17 and I gave up uni , travel and the offer of good job to stay near him because he wanted me near him. I thought that was wonderful and 'loving' until one day I realised that this man didn't really love me - if he did he would have encouraged me to accept these opportunities to better myself and grow as a person.

So hopefully your fella is THE ONE but my advice, take a really honest look at how you interact together before making up your mind.

PS I met and married my ONE after knowing him as a friend for 8 years, 25 years on I still love him to bits and there's no-one I'd rather have beside me when my back's

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, maybe he is being nice because he hasnt had 'anything' yet off you.
I think you like him so much because of your past experiences. Maybe your not over your hurt yet, and the things he does just make you like him so much because you have never been treat like that before.
You need to give it time yet. he might be being nice now until he beds you or in fear of upsetting you.
But then again, he may be your chosen one...

[Drisgirl]

Hey hun -I havent been in touch for a couple of weeks so missed all this excitement !!!

My advice is considering all the cr@p you have endured is enjoy yourself and just go easily with the flow -que sera sera - you so deserve even feeling like this - TC XXX

[lil123]

Thank you everyone for your great advice and I am going to try and not get too exited about him in case he isn't BUT at least now I know how I should be treated lol x

Hi Drisgirl hope your ok I have been worried about you after reading your last posting I will email you and fill you in xxx