Hi there evedawn,
I was actually the same as you a few years ago, I thought that it was terrible what they did to themselves. I was hugely more interested in the psychology behind in what made them do it.
I later became obsessed with just anorexics themselves, I started looking at the picture of people, thinking 'god, how thin are they?'
I had always hated the way I looked, but was never prepared to do anything about it- I was bullied from a young age about being fat. Although I was not. I never used to go to school and would avoid eating if I could. But when I was about 11 that faded, and in secondary school I began a 'normal' life.
The bullying continued, and I was very beaten down. I became depressed and suffered from anxiety problems. When I was 15 I could no longer handle the fact I felt I had not control over my life, that I hated myself, the way I looked, the people around me. I wanted to be like them.
And slowly, I began dieting, well just not finishing my meals, skipping breakfast and lunch. Obsessing over calories.
I went down onto 200 kcals a day. Excercising a little, but I couldn't cope for long, as I would collapse in exhaustion.
People began to realise that I was losing weight. I went from a size 10/12 to a size 6 in a short space of time. My boyfriend told my parents, that I was getting so thin.
I later admitted to them what was going on.
They threatened to put food down my throat if I didn't eat, and that they'd listen for me throwing up.
I live with my parents and boyfriend, so it was very hard to lie etc.
I think when I was very ill at college when I was about 17 was very hard. I couldn't cope with the work and i couldn't go in because I was constantly exhausted. I would faint a lot.