ChatterBank2 mins ago
problem 14 year old
10 Answers
i'm at my wits end with my son.
To everyone else he's "a lovely lad" - friends and their parents etc.
His attitude to me and his dad and younger siblings stinks.
He's not interested at school, although he's very bright. He gets detentions but doesn't see them as important.
Now, our weekend has been spoiled by a letter dropping on the mat from his school. he's got a Head's detention next week for "refusing to do any work and answering back"
They don't give these out very often and we can't seem to make him realise how his attitude needs to change.
i am a big shouter but my husband is a very quiet man who quietens even more when he's upset.
I think he needs a hefty clip round the ear but he's 2 feet taller than me!
I was a bit of a rebel at school and can remember what it's like to be 14. He gets no end of support, but he's had too many last chances.
What can we do?? Help!
To everyone else he's "a lovely lad" - friends and their parents etc.
His attitude to me and his dad and younger siblings stinks.
He's not interested at school, although he's very bright. He gets detentions but doesn't see them as important.
Now, our weekend has been spoiled by a letter dropping on the mat from his school. he's got a Head's detention next week for "refusing to do any work and answering back"
They don't give these out very often and we can't seem to make him realise how his attitude needs to change.
i am a big shouter but my husband is a very quiet man who quietens even more when he's upset.
I think he needs a hefty clip round the ear but he's 2 feet taller than me!
I was a bit of a rebel at school and can remember what it's like to be 14. He gets no end of support, but he's had too many last chances.
What can we do?? Help!
Answers
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You can always stand on the stairs to clout him!!
It's hard being a parent but shouting doesn't work. You and your husband must stand together . Stop the last chances , if you ground him make sure it is fair and stick to it. He will make life hell but don't give in. You say he is very bright is he being bullied at school because he is bright? Never give up talking to him and even though he is 14 and thinks he is a man reward him for good things he does. Don't let the letter spoil your weekend , back the school up but don't mention it anymore.
It's hard being a parent but shouting doesn't work. You and your husband must stand together . Stop the last chances , if you ground him make sure it is fair and stick to it. He will make life hell but don't give in. You say he is very bright is he being bullied at school because he is bright? Never give up talking to him and even though he is 14 and thinks he is a man reward him for good things he does. Don't let the letter spoil your weekend , back the school up but don't mention it anymore.
Hey Crisgal,
Sorry I have no magic solutions!
This was my son at that age and I thought it would never end. Try and concentrate on the good (I know it will be hard to find it at this stage) at least you have instilled good manners into him, confirmed by the lovely lad comments. I didn't do this, looking back I realise it was mostly critisicsm that he got (& still does to a certain extent) from me. We have been through so much since he was 14, he's now 23 , he now has his own children which has helped enourmously, though he still thinks I don't understand how much hard work a 3yr old is!
When he was 14 I spent a lot of time talking about consequences, to the point where it was the only word I said when he was escorted home by the police, quite often! At the end of the day all you can do is guide them, you cannot (ever) control anyone other than yourself.
Sorry for rambling and I hope this will help some xx
Sorry I have no magic solutions!
This was my son at that age and I thought it would never end. Try and concentrate on the good (I know it will be hard to find it at this stage) at least you have instilled good manners into him, confirmed by the lovely lad comments. I didn't do this, looking back I realise it was mostly critisicsm that he got (& still does to a certain extent) from me. We have been through so much since he was 14, he's now 23 , he now has his own children which has helped enourmously, though he still thinks I don't understand how much hard work a 3yr old is!
When he was 14 I spent a lot of time talking about consequences, to the point where it was the only word I said when he was escorted home by the police, quite often! At the end of the day all you can do is guide them, you cannot (ever) control anyone other than yourself.
Sorry for rambling and I hope this will help some xx
Oh that didn't read quite right (Mother in head telling me I should have proof read first!)
I did install good manners in my son and it will get your children a long way. I am really proud of my son and I think I always have been. I haven't shown it to him very well though!
I used to tell my daughter than when you're on the verge of doing something you know you shouldn't that conscience in your head is your mother/father talking and it will be there for life!
Rambling again xx
I did install good manners in my son and it will get your children a long way. I am really proud of my son and I think I always have been. I haven't shown it to him very well though!
I used to tell my daughter than when you're on the verge of doing something you know you shouldn't that conscience in your head is your mother/father talking and it will be there for life!
Rambling again xx
If all else fails, try subscribing to this philosophy.
http://tinyurl.com/2woz5g
Not work safe link, but very funny.
http://tinyurl.com/2woz5g
Not work safe link, but very funny.
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