I need some advise what to do with my daughter

[lil123]

When my boyfriend comes round she has started saying things to me that are on the point of being humiliating like she started pulling to pieces the clothes I was wearing and my figure as I still have about a stone in weight to lose. She is nearly 18 and should know better than to do this.
I was even more upset as they were all laughing at me.
I need to put a stop to this as I have spent years of feeling rubbish about myself and I am starting to accept myself as I am.
It is getting worse the things she is saying what can I do ?

[squarebear]

What a horrible daughter. Try doing the same to her when she is going out with her mates, see how she likes it. If she doesn't stop, boot her out. You shouldn't feel bad in your own home.

[cazzz1975]

there is something not right here, maybe she feels upset that you have a new boyfriend and is trying to repel him by emphasising your flaws, it might be worth having a chat with her to find out what is the reason she feels the need to upset you so. she may feel jealous of you and your boyfriend, she may feel pushed out, she may be feeling insecure.

dont assume she is just nasty. people who deliberately set out to upset someone normally have their own problems

[Panic Button]

Perhaps sit her down and tell her point blank what upsets you about her behaviour. Ask her why she does it.

See if it is possible to have a frank discussion.

It sounds to me like jealousy of you having a relationship, when she feels like she owns you.

[logic]

I agree with squarebear on this one, your private life be longs to you, and if you feel comfortable with your weight keep it, obviously it hasn't put your boy friend off, other wise he wouldn't be there,most men like a bit of beef on their girlfriend.,
Clothes are a matter of taste, i don't see why we should have to follow pop stars or footballers tastes.

[andrea81]

Totally agree with above, it sounds like she has a problem with you having a bf (either jealous or insecure). I think you should take a night where you do something together and have a discussion about it! x

[sandrajo]

I agree with all the above. She is 18 a young adult it's about time she started acting like one. If she doesn't like it show her the door. Don't start to go down the path of feeling rubbish about your self, you've come so far and good luck with the diet.

[funnygirl]

Have a sharp word with her and ask her to tell you in future,
any comments she may have about your appearance, can she please tell you in private!

It does sound like jealousy!

[stonemonkey]

She's an adult now and she should have more respect for her mother. Did something bad happen with her father? I'm not being nosey but does she resent another man's presence, or was her father a bad one so she has no trust in men. Is she trying to put you down to put him off?

[unrulyjulie]

i know you had a rough time with your ex lil, maybe she has picked that up along the way. Learned behaviour .You cannot let her treat you this way. You need to sit down and talk to her about it. Explain your feelings about how you've been treated, how far you've come, how much this is hurting you and very unfair too etc.

She is 18, not 13 or 15 where i can see her nose might be put out of joint by your new fella! She is an adult now, not a child.

Don't let her spoil what should be a wonderful new start for you. Good luck xx

[bigmamma]

Print off this thread for her to see lil , it might enlighten her to the fact that it is generally unacceptable behaviour for her age , even if it is because she feels threatened , insecure , or jealous , she is old enough to see your embarrasment and know how this has upset you. ((( hug )))
xxxx

[lil123]

Thank you all as usual xxxxxxxxx