Female Ex-Collegaue

[flip_flop]

I joined my current firm 12 years ago and 3 months later a female colleague joined.

Over the intervening 12 years we've had a number of, shall we say, ahem, romantic liasons but everything was pretty cool and afterwards we just carried on with our jobs.

Above all else, she is a bloody good mate and a fantastic drinking partner.

Last Friday was her last day so, naturally, there was a leaving p i ss-up.

At the end of the night there was just the two of us left, as was so often the case in the past, and she was very very upset - not just tearful, I'm talking bawling, snot, the lot.

Anyways, her reason for leaving she told me is because she loves me but her circumstances now are such that we can't be together.

I put this down to the fact she was drunk - but she's emailed me this week and confirmed it.

I am now absolutely beside myself because I've lost a mate, a very very good work colleague and, if truth be told, I'm a bit annoyed she has told me this.

In all liklihood we are never going to see each other again as she's moving, tomorrow, to Oz.

I am well and truly absolutely mind bendingly gutted.

I don't have a question, I just wanted to get this off my chest!

Actually, I do have a question. Should I just forget her?

[andrea81]

Oh dear!

Well, yes you should forget about her as you have no choice really! You will probably put this down to experience in the future and always think of her fondly, but it will pass and you'll find someone else who you feel even more for!

;0)

[tigersam258]

will it affect any relationship that you are in at the moment if you dont forget her?

would it be possible for you to maintain a platonic relationship with her?

would you be able to forget someone that you have had a special relationship over such a long time?

not an easy or straightforward answer Flip but the best of luck.

[~max~]

Can I ask why she thought you couldn't be together? are you "taken" already?

If not, do you like her as well?

If you're both single, and both willing, then I don't see why you should let her go!

[flip_flop]

I'm just recently out of a relationship, but have a child, she is in a relationship, and has been for two years and her other half, who is a thoroughly nice bloke by the by, is Australian, hence the move.

I had absolutely no idea about her feelings, although if truth be told I've always liked her in 'that' way.

[andrea81]

Forgive me if I'm wrong! To be honest, sounds like you both have been a bit unfair to your own partners (affairs are not nice!)

Just leave well alone and at least give her and her "thoroughly nice bloke" of a bf a chance of a good life!

Sorry to sound harsh!

[flip_flop]

I wasn't in a relationship when these things occurred.

[cazzz1975]

If she does love you then why is she with someone else?

moving to the other side of the world is a big deal, if she does not love her fella she will only end up regretting it.

personally If I were her I wouldnt go unless I was 1000% sure that I was happy and in love with the person I was with.

[Macsilk]

awwww bless you flip flop! i really do feel for you. been in a similar situation myself. i shan't go in to details but i will NEVER feel like i did about the bloke in question with anyone else, it just wasn't possible for us to be together, it went on for 2 years and eventually i had to move on as i knew in reality it wouldn't ever be possible for us to be together officially. it hurt like crazy for a long time but i knew in my heart i had to move on. i know this prob doesn't give you much help but just to let you know things will pass and life will get better, i left, got a new job and tried to forget. Maybe its a good thing she is moving so far away, can i just ask why is she moving to Oz? Keep smiling flip flop.

[Panic Button]

Before she told you this, it doesn't seem that you were too worried that she was moving to Oz (except the loss of a drinking partner and occasional s hag)

What are you thinking of doing now?

If there was a serious relationship possible, surely it would have happened by now.

[jno]

legend is right. You've had 12 years to do something with your relationship - both of you - and the fact that you didn't suggests that deep down neither of you really wanted to. Now you risk obsessing over her just because, finally, you can't have her. Better not.

[{Dakota}]

flip_flop, do you love her back? If you do then I think you've got to tell her, if not then leave it a while for her to settle in her new home and maybe pick up your friendship again through e-mail.

To be honest, if she was crying like that - with snot (LOL!) - then I don't think she's ever going to be 100% committed to her current man.

[Info Bank]

Now the Test begins....

If you were true friends contact can be maintained Via E-Mail.

If it was just Lust .

Contact will fade after a while.

If I Me personaly....worked and had a friendship with someone over 12 yrs I could not just bin that friendship.

You had much more than just that.

It looks as if the end is here.

Sorry to be blunt...But distance in your case may not be a bad thing.

[mandimoo]

the grass is always greener.