Is it love?

[Roughquest]

Explain this, why is it when im with my b/f i get yearnings to be alone, yet when im not with him - I miss him dreadfully! Why! Confusing mix of emotions going on here....I dont understand...I like to be with him in small doses....I guess..

[cazzz1975]

is this the boyfriend you left before or is this someone new?

[Roughquest]

Hi Cazza, Your quick off the mark tonight, the same guy I left......

[cazzz1975]

awwwwww :(

I hope you are okay

[banjosister]

Hey rough,

because you dont want to be with him but you are still fighting it.

I went through the same for years.

Just ended it AGAIN.

but this time for good.

I miss him so. But the reality of him is not the same as I imagine!

BB xx

P.s dont mean to sound harsh x

[gonzo00]

i've spent 19 years wishing i was alone! when i'm alone i realise i can't work a washing machine! it's the way it goes pet...can't live with em and can't live without em....it's love!

[unrulyjulie]

I agree with banjo on this one. All the best Roughquest. love is never easy! ! xx

[Gunther]

didn't this boyfriend give you lots of grief before? or was it someone else?

[pastafreak]

Why do you get yearnings to be alone...at a time when you should ONLY want to be with him???.....You should be dreading the moment that he leaves, each time you are with him. 'Small doses' doesn't bode well here

[Booldawg]

Relationships should be like working on an oil rig. 3 months on; 3 months off.

[dannyday5821]

maybe it just means you like him...to a certain extent...so maybe you dont love him, you only think you do. There must be some reason why when your with him, you want to be on your own. Maybe really you hate him, or atleast dont like him at all...but the very prospect of being alone scares you more...so when your not with him, you yearn for him...accept you dont really...you yearn for company and a chance for socialisation, in turn you mistake this for love. The fact you think you like to be with him in small doses i think supports this little theory of mine! Its like, yeah yeah okay done with the company now **** off and leave me alone! You dont want small doses of love, you want small doses of not being alone. Maybe the prospect of no boyfriend scares you...so its actually convienant for you to just see him when you feel a bit down or lonley, then tell him to get lost when youve had your dose of company and feel better. (which to be honest, from a mans point of view, if this is true...its "really" unfair on him)

what do you think?

Okay okay okay so i dont have a wealth of experience in love! but that sure as hell doesnt sound like love to me! youve got it all back to front....sort of...

[cazzz1975]

I think you put that very well danny :D

[firewatch]

right,
My man drives me mad he is hopeless with finances, spends more than he earns, never checks with me before he buys he just goes ahead.
i hate him sometimes, i think he knows this.

Despite this i cannot sleep unless he is beside me, when im alone i sleep on his side of the bed.
He makes me laugh.
He knows how to get me to eat when i have been fasting and wont break it even after times up.
When he answers his aleter i worry for him praying to the lady he will be ok. My stomach is in knots when he is away, i cant bare to be parted with him.
He knows though NEVER to raise his hand to me, as i have had rough treatment before and knows i will leave him if he ever does.
I set ground rules when we moved in together, ok the finacial bits gone out of the window but hey, life is there to be changed.
Just think you look back on the good times you had together, and when you think of going back think of every bad thing he ever did to you to keep you away and the stronger for it.
I am marriead now and do not regret it, i love him even with his faults he is after all only human.
Keep your chin up!

[Roughquest]

You hit the nail on the head firewatch! Its because he has been awful to me, Im praying for change, our relationship has got much better, I did leave him for a few months, he is really trying, but I dont think I can forget what's happened in the past and it still hurts. I love him, I miss him, but at the end of the day I wont really deep down ever forget the past with him. That is the trouble. THanks also Danny for your wise answer, very well put also....

[firewatch]

im glad to help, just to try and make you smile he got in my bad books on tuesday night, came home from a shout and jumped straight into bed, a clean fresh made bed, got it filthy with soot and muck hmmmm i was not impressed!
I hope you are feeling better.
we have had long chats the last week, and we know where we stand now, talk to one another, silence is only another word for tension.
i sometimes when im working on the laptop, i will look up and he is smiling at me, it just makes me feel wanted to see that.
keep your chin up hen!