how to have contact with kids, when they refusing to see you under influence of separated partner?

[shivnath]

how can i have contacts with my 4 kids, aged 12, 9, 7(down syndrome), 3. when 12yr old and 9yr old are refusing to see me .under the influence of separated partner. how does cascaf come to a decision for a 7 yr old downs syndrome and a 3 yr old baby, if they want to see their father? what can u do if she falsely acusses me of being violent?

[stokemaveric]

best advice i can give you is to go and see a family law solicitor mate they will sort out all the various legal issues for you.sounds as though it will be a messy case tho if your ex is falsely accusing you of things.good luck.

[kawa4]

hi shiv. that is so sad. my divorce was no better. at the time my seven year old chose to live with me. my x took me to court for custody of him. i sat down with the cascaf officer my x and her briff. i told the truth against her lies. i left court with full custody and full acess to our other to kids. i guess im saying go see a solicitor a.s.a.p you have parentel rights. no one can take that from you. if it helps my x told the court i had a big drink prob. also violent as well dont give up you will get there in the end good luck

[Mamjet]

Lay off the booze, try keeping your fists to yourself and apologize. then she might relent.

[vollerbo]

Hi, I was in the situation your children were in, I was brought up in the end by my dads parents. Please be patient with them and carry on trying to see them, send them small letters cards etc. I remember my mother arranging to visit and (between age 6 - 12) and although I had been told bad things that was not what made me aviod her., I would get so excited I would feel sick then I would get really worried about upsetting everyone else that I woyld feign illness or being too scared so that I wouldn't have to deal with everyone. She gave up and emmigrated, don;t you. Your children are confused and most probably frightened to upset their mother. I promise it will help so much if they know that regardless of what they say or do you will still keep trying and eventually it will pay off. I jusy wish my mother had wanted to try like you do. Good luck

[stokemaveric]

MAMJET what an awful thing to say...do you know this man?apologies if you do but for gods sake dont judge someone unless you know them.im just glad that you are not a judge no bloke would stand a chance..........we arent all the same you know.

[Mamjet]

I know his type

[stokemaveric]

'i know his type'i know a woman down the pub who is a prostitute,does that make my neighbour a prostitute because the woman down the pub is a hooker and i 'know her type'.....i dont think it does does it mamjet?

[shivnath]

thanks to all for their time and effort. everyone have their own way of thinking so i dont mind of mamjet's comments.
could i have some more advice from you kava4, cos i don't know how this cascaf thing works. would they make me sit with my ex or they will sit with us seprately and decide.

[kawa4]

sorry shiv i must deal with this first. MAMJET you are so out of order. stokemaveric is right you are so out of order do you no what it feels like to be accused of something you havent done. maybe someone gave you **** but you cant tar all men the same. i just hope you never get called up for jury service. cus you might just no there type. get a life.

[kawa4]

sorry about that shive. listen if your not comfy in her or his company thats fine. cascaf are there for all.there only intrest is for the childrens welfair. if i was you i would agree to meet the cascaf officer together then you no what your up against. you said the kids are under your separated partners influence. dont worry. the kids no the score. im telling you just hang in there and it will come good.keep your head held high and work your nuts of and he or she will realise just what thay have lost. even if you have made a few mistakes cos we all do i no i have. but my kids are still with me. my 7year old is now 14 and my 10 year old daughter is living with me to. when you go and see the cascaf officer take as much proof as you can about times you have tryed to have contact when you have been denide keep recipts for maitenance payments. clothing. ect. ect.

[kawa4]

prest the wrong button so you got me back again ha.ha. i will say this though we all love are kids. if you truly cant live without yours like i cant the wait is worth it. if i can be of any more help im here keep me posted i keep checking your thred. or post me in chatterbank good luck

[topgal]

My friend, the mother of 3 children, hasn't had contact with her children for months. Her husband completely and utterly brainwashed the children against her. I could tell you stories about what he has made them say to her and do against her that would make your toes curl. He defied every single judgment, visitation rights she had, everything the court told him he had to do he defied and there was nothing anybody could do about it. I have never seen such injustice in all my life. He threw her out after an argument one day, he was violent towards her on a number of occasions and she has witnesses. She stayed with a neighbour because she was too scared to go back. There was nobody out there to help her. Cafcas got involved which was a relief we thought! No way! after interviewing the children he decided they should stay with their father! They had been brainwashed for god's sake what chance did they have. I could go on forever. You are not alone and the law is not out there to help you whether you are a mother or father. She still keeps fighting but the law is an ass! How can you tell a mother of 3 children to get on with her life, they are her life!