Is there.....

[tigerlily11]

Ever a time when you just wish your kids would pull themselves together and get on with it. My daughter has been through some rough stuff because of my ex. He even kept me on sleeping pills so I would notice what was going on. He used to put them in my tea. She came through and I thought she was getting her life back together after some false starts. I just can't seem to get through to her. The thing is she always manages to drag her poor brother into her messes. She been through several boyfriends and has a child that she has chossen to let some one else bring up and this time I thought maybe she was on to something good but last night, while she was out for the evening with her brother and boyfriend she started to come on to her brothers friend in front of her boyfriend. This has resulted in her brother falling out with his best friend and problems with her current boyfriend. No I knwo that when she rings it will all be everyone elses fault dipite the fact she knows its not and I know that I shall get a mouth fll abuse from her telling me I have never been there for dispite the fact that it is certainly not true, I've been there every time she falls flat. I wasn't when it mattered with her dad but that one I will take to my grave. It just makes me angry when she does things like this. I went through abuse as a child at the hands of another family memeber but I got on with life and without social services and everyone else running round and picking up after me. My only mistake was not making sure they had the best dad possible. I don't know what to do any more. I feel like I don't want to hear from her again, but I am her mum and I know I will. But I know nothing I say or do will be right. Thanks for listening. I appreciate being able to right down how I feel wether I'm right or wrong.

[tigerlily11]

Yes Lechat it is very very different. I don't know under what circumstance ur friends mother left. I cannot say why ur friend made it through and her siblings didn't.
I don't take much stock in anything a tv Dr would say. Half of what they dish out is designed to get a reaction the audiance would like.
I can't say why some recover better than others. Why a woman who was raped once could go to pieces and a woman who has been raped a lot of her life would get by.
Your opinion did not take into account what I had said. I never actually asked for answers although I am extremely greatful for all the kind words on here. It matters to me to have a shoulder to cry on and an ear to bend even if there is no answer for whats happening.
I hope ur friends siblings find their answers where ever it may be. There are no perfect parents but there are no perfect children either.

[Le Chat]

I'm sorry tigerlily but I took it as a question, which was "Is there ever a time when you just wish your kids would pull themselves together and just get on with it?."
Apologies for my misinterpretation and to any upset caused, it was really not my intention. Occasionally It just reads back quite severe but if I had said it out loud, with the appropriate intonation, etc, it would not sound so accusing...which is how you have seen it.
I'll get me bag................

[tigerlily11]

No problem Lechat.
Don't get ur bag quite yet. It is hard to know what to say when ur confronted by someones heart. I am absolutly rubbish at it.
Some one who u know has been treated badly as I expect u and ur friend see it. I can understand how she might feel. My mother had me at 43 and by the time I should have began to get to know her as a person she was suffering from dementia and didn't even recognise me.
In a sense she left me when my dad died when I was 14.
Being left with a woman who should have been looking after me instead of the other way round should have left me resentful but I figure I can't change the past so why worry about it. It's gone.
I didn't see her for 3 years before she died and it wouldn't have made any difference if I had. She didn't know me. The lady I knew had gone but I feel like shes just in another room along with my dad.
It's a hard old world and people do what they think they must. May be your friends mum felt like she couldn't be a good mum I don't know but it can't be changed. As I said I hope they find some piece eventually.