ChatterBank0 min ago
compelete boredom....
14 Answers
i am totally bored and have the crapest day ever any one got any good jokes to cheer me up?
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STOP CHOKING - AUSSIE STYLE
A women sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her.
"Ken ya swaller ?" asks Bluey
The woman signalled "No!", desperately shaking her head.
"Kin ya breathe ?" asked Bazza. The women shook her head "NO"
With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her butt.
This shocked the women into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
Bluey swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.
Bazza said in admiration, "Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it !"
A women sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her.
"Ken ya swaller ?" asks Bluey
The woman signalled "No!", desperately shaking her head.
"Kin ya breathe ?" asked Bazza. The women shook her head "NO"
With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her butt.
This shocked the women into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
Bluey swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.
Bazza said in admiration, "Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it !"
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is
stumbling back and forth.
A cop on the beat sees him and approaches,
'Can I help you Sir?'
'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr', the man replies.
The cop asks, 'Where was your car the last time you saw it?'
'It wasss on the end of thisshh key', the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener
hanging out of his fly for all to see.
He asks the man, 'Sir are you aware that you are exposing
yourself?'
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and
without missing a beat, blurts out........
'Holy sh1t! My girlfriend's gone, too!!
The husband leans over and askes his wife, Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago ? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you :
Yes she says I remember it well :
Ok he says , How about taking a stroll around there gain and we can do it for old times sake ?
oh charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea !
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, Ive got to see these two old timers having sex against a fence. I will just keep an eye on them so theres no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
as she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.
Finally they collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is so amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didnt know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I have git to ask them what their secret is. So,as the couple passes, he says to them, Excuse me, but that was something else. You must have a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this.?
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, FIFTY years ago, that wasnt an electric fence
Yes she says I remember it well :
Ok he says , How about taking a stroll around there gain and we can do it for old times sake ?
oh charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea !
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, Ive got to see these two old timers having sex against a fence. I will just keep an eye on them so theres no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
as she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.
Finally they collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is so amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didnt know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.
The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I have git to ask them what their secret is. So,as the couple passes, he says to them, Excuse me, but that was something else. You must have a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this.?
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, FIFTY years ago, that wasnt an electric fence
This may cheer you up a bit:-
An elderly man walks into a brothel and tells the woman he would like a really young girl for the night. The woman gives him a puzzled look and asks the fellow how old he is.
"Why," the man says, "I'm 98 years old."
"Ninety-eight!!" the woman exclaims."Don't you realise you've had it?"
"Oh," he says, "how much do I owe you, then?"
What did the plumber say when he left his wife?
"It's over,Flo"
What's got three pairs of balls and screws you twice a week?
The National Lottery
What's got 75 balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo
An elderly man walks into a brothel and tells the woman he would like a really young girl for the night. The woman gives him a puzzled look and asks the fellow how old he is.
"Why," the man says, "I'm 98 years old."
"Ninety-eight!!" the woman exclaims."Don't you realise you've had it?"
"Oh," he says, "how much do I owe you, then?"
What did the plumber say when he left his wife?
"It's over,Flo"
What's got three pairs of balls and screws you twice a week?
The National Lottery
What's got 75 balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo
These links will help cheer anyone up.They certainly made me giggle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGmq_SfElA0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuaBT2eHD84
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7IHPJ0k9Bg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGmq_SfElA0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuaBT2eHD84
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7IHPJ0k9Bg
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