Men in the delivery room during birth

[meglet]

Ladies, I'm interested on your thoughts on this article. It basically says that a very experienced obstetrician thinks that men are a hinderance in the delivery room, for medical reasons primarily. A midwife friend of mine agrees that men often are little help as they rant and rave as their partner is so much distress without realising that its normal and the professionals almost always know best. I've not has any children so I can't judge but I've often thought that when I do I would rather my mum than a partner. What do you think? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/a rticle.html?in_article_id=559913&in_page_id=18 79&in_page_id=1879&expand=true#StartComments#

(You have to scroll up on the page, sorry)

[Psychick]

When I had my first child my mum said from the start there was no way she would be with me in the delivery room lol She said she wouldnt want to watch me go through it all but its probably because she knows what a wimp and a complainer I am lol

9 weeks ago when baby number 2 arrived, my boyfriend was an absolute star (his first baby so first time going through it all) He never once seemed panicked or phased and when the time came to deliver baby, he did exactly as the midwife asked him was definately a big help.

I can understand why that has been said though. I can imagine there are many, men and women, who wouldnt be able to remain calm in that sort of situation especially if theyve never been through the experience before. When it came to planning the birth, it never even entered my head that my boyfriend wouldnt be there. Im sure he wouldnt have wanted it any other way either.

[~max~]

Sorry, I have no experience, but I wanted to ask a question....

I'm guessing all expecting dads know they're going to witness some gruesome stuff.

Would you, as a woman, mind your man seeing things like baby crowning, or even popping out? Wouldn't you be afraid that would put him off forever? I'm only curious here! xxx

[Katie~77]

I'm glad my husband was at the births of both our children. He was absolutely no help whatsoever but I don't think he'd have believed just how difficult the whole thing was without witnessing it! Looking back I wish I'd had my sister with me too. I was with her when she gave birth to her twins, it was wonderful.x

[Ice.Maiden]

Awwww, Katie. My husband was there on both occasions, and although he basically just held my hand and gave a few supportive words, the rest of the time he spent in quiet wonder. I've never heard of a man ranting & raving in the delivery room - I think he might be asked to go outside and cool down if that was so. Giving birth isn't particularly unpleasant to watch anyway. It's a marvellous thing, and my husband, who cut the cords on both occasions, said it's something he wouldnt've missed for the world. I can't tell you the look of love & pride on his face when he first held his babies. x

[~max~]

Invisible, it's not strange at all, many women need the "after birth" removed surgically, it's not an automatic thing.
What is strange is how much I know about giving birth, when I've never done it myself! lol

[Ice.Maiden]

Bless, max - x. Just because you haven't given birth, doesn't mean that you haven't got an idea about the subject - but it does tend to generate some pre-conceived (and wrong) ones. All the screaming and shouting that you see on TV and in films, doesn't happen, as many women opt for pain relief, which is excellent these days, and if there are no complications, giving birth can actually a pleasurable experience. If a woman doesn't relax, then this can make things worse for her, but overall, it's a natural and amazing process, and the pain is not quite how you imagine it to be. x

[andrea81]

My hubby was ther with my first up until a point as I had to have a C-section under general. But when I went into labour at the begining, it was such a relief to see him walk into the room.

I think men should know what women go through as the two of you got yourselves into the situation... both should be there until the end!

I'm due again in May and we both are well prepared for birth and in a silly way, looking forward to the bonding experience! x

[888sally888]

My ex husband moped my forehead with a supposidely damp sponge. Shame he didnt wring it out first - I was soaked and really p!ssed off too!!

Then he nearly had a fight with a maintenance man who came to fix a switch by the bed with me in birth position!!

So I think I would have been better alone!!

[redcrx]

I reckon it possibly depends on each man.

My fella was nervous as hell, as they are all going to be, watching their partner go through childbirth. But he remained calm, and it didnt panic me at all. OK he wasnt great at the back rubbing but my midwife was :)

They dont have to be stood at the messy end, in fact he was banned. Though once head was crowned he actually asked me if he could look and i said yes.

He was great! There was a slight problem with babys shoulders getting stuck and he encouraged me and helped midwives position me to birth.

I certainly want my fella there this time too

[sandrajo]

sorry I never seen this and I've just put a question on body & soul! (blush)

My partner was with me on the birth of our daughter and he has the scars to prove it lol. Seemingly I dug my nails deep into his neck he ended up with stitches!! I knew he was there and it calmed me a bit, but the rest is a bit of a blur the pain seen to that.
He also held our daughter first which I thought was so sweet and think it brings the special bond they have between them as she defo is a daddies girl. : )

[warpig3]

As has been said, it depends on the man, mrwarpig was great during the birth, he was very quite (mostly) but then I think he was in a state of shock.

I was glad he was there, firstly for some reassurance and secondly he is now aware of the pain of childbirth and being a complete wimp when it comes to pain and a bit of a hypocondriac, he can now put his own complaints into perspective.

Mind you, the day I can home from the hospital (walking like John Wayne) and he complained of a 'sore tummy' I could cheerfully have throttled him, but not having the strength to do so I just gave him a withering look and I swear he visibly shrunk a couple of inches.

[Psychick]

Invisible, Im very surprised they didnt have baby on you to help with the delivery of the placenta. I say this because I had trouble delivering the placenta with my second baby and they kept encouraging her to feed off me as this is supposed to help. Having said that though, depsite her feeding lots, I still had trouble and things had to be helped along and luckily I delivered it eventually before needing surgery.

max, I was hoping seeing all the gruesome stuff would have put my boyfriend off! lol Unfortunately it didnt work and he would see me go through it again because according to him it "werent that bad"!

[k8bailey]

I want my fella there, although he will have stay near my head. He's worried about seeing me in pain, but I can't think of any women I would want there, not even my mum, I love her and we get on great but I'm a bit of a prude, although I probably wouldn't care at the time, I don't want her seeing me like that!, where as my partner obviously has seen me in the buff before and I don't care about all the medics coz it's their job.

[warpig3]

K8 that made me laugh, I didn't want my mum or best friend there either (they both offered to be birth partners if mr warpig wasnt up to it) but when it came time, a bus load of Japanese tourists could have filed past taking photos and I wouldnt have cared.

[mikhaila]

i dont have any children but felt like i wonted to say my bit it takes two to make a baby men feel left out through pregnancy as it is why should that special life changing moment be taken away from the father it dosnt seem fair to me personaly its a partnership when you have a baby i would want my partner there 100%. just to get that kiss on the forehead n tell me he is proud of me n see his face light up