18 and Pregnant, How do i tell my dad, my only parent.

[Trixy_89]

I'm 18 and pregnant, in a stable relationship and my boyfriend wants to keep the baby, i'm too scared to have an abortion but i'm too scared to keep the baby cause my dad always used to say to me '' my worst nightmare is for you to be pregnant ''. I only live with my dad, my boyfriend believes his parents wouldn't be too pleased at first but would get used to it. With my dad, i'm not so sure and the only other family i have is my Grandma and Grandad and i know they'd be disappointed too. I'm more for keeping the baby and i've thought about everything there is to think about, financial matters and housing included and i still think theres alot to think about. I know this is my own fault and i'm not looking for sympathy just some motherly advice.

Thank you. x

[sadie_carys]

I was 19 when I fell pregnant with my little girl, and 20 when i had her, shes now three.
I was only with her dad for two weeks before i fell. I told my mum first..well she kinda guessed cos i was ion holiday with her, i waited until i was about 8 weeks until i told my dad (they've seperated) I'm not going to lie, he was disappointed, but more because getting pregnant meant that i hadnt used anything and i could had subjected myself to all kinds of nasty things...things between me and him never got better until my little girl was born, and touch would its been fine since...

[sense4all]

I feel for you it's a tricky spot to find yourself in ... just get on with telling them - what wil be will be, and you may be pleasantly surprised how things work out. Just remind them that you are healthy and realistic about your responsibilities.

[oldgrape]

ok yes ur dad might be angry with you but for how long once he sees his grand child i'm sure his feelings will change. i fell pregnant after a month of being with my boyfriend and was 20 my mum was extremely disappointed in me but as my pregnancy progressed she was more excited than me.
make sure you tell ur dad before any1 else he will be well cross if he hears it from someone else.
personally i wouldn't tell any1 (apart from dr)until until you have reach the 3 month mark

[Octavius]

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/H ealth-and-Fitness/Question562787.html

[Trixy_89]

Yes, i do realise i posted it under fitness, if u look closely the question has been locked off because i wanted to post in under pregnancy. Smart arse. lol

[Octavius]

I posted it for the benefit of those above who might like to read the previous responses and see if they had anything to add.

If that has offended you, then what can I say.

[winebuyer]

No matter how you think he will react, we Dads will ALWAYS be okay with our little girls when it comes to the crunch.

Just tell him. You may be surprised.

And play the Dad/Daughter card for all you are worth.

[Rtaxron]

If you were my daughter, I would give you a big cuddle and tell you, that I will always be there for you.
Sh1t happens, it doesnt make you a bad girl, it happens to 1,000s every year.
Just tell him, I am sure he will be upset at first, but he will get over it and love his grand-son/grand-daughter as much as he loves you.
Good luck.

[Ice.Maiden]

Once you've told your dad what's happened Trixy, he may show a bit of disappointment - but once your baby's there, I'm almost positive that he'll be one of the proudest grandparents on earth! I was pregnant at 18 as well, and again a year later. The fact that I was married is pretty immaterial. If you and your partner strive to do the very best that you can for your child, then hopefully you'll one day have a son or daughter to be very proud of. Everything turns out alright in the end, so love and good luck to you - x.

[naomi24]

If you want some motherly advice Trixy, I'm a mother, and I would say tell your dad. He might be disappointed, as may your grandma and grandpa, but from what you've said, I imagine they all love you very much indeed, and they will come to terms with it - honestly they will. Every caring parent dreads situations like this, and often say things like your dad said, but that's only because they love their children and want the very best for them. However, it's happened, and your family have to know sometime - you can't hide it forever - so for your own benefit, and for your own health, don't delay - tell them now. From a personal point of view, if you were my daughter I would be devastated if you felt you could not come to me and tell me. Of course I'd be disappointed, but that wouldn't stop me loving you, and I would help you and support you in every way I could, and I would make things as easy for you as I could - and I'm sure your family will feel the same way. Trixy, you have a caring boyfriend, you have a caring family, so it's not the end of the world - really it isn't - and when the baby is born they will love it and all their disappointment will fly out of the window. Believe me. Tell them. Lots of love to you. x

[countrykid]

Hi Trixy

As a bloke, I can't give you motherly advice, but I can relate a story to you which might give you some comfort. I hope so. A couple of years ago, a colleague at work who I am good friends with, confided that her only daughter had become pregnant. She was about your age and also in a stable relationship, well as stable as things can be. My friend feared the worst, thinking that at such a young age her daughter hadn't yet "lived" life etc. My friend was really concerned that it would ruin her daughters life, and cried for days after hearing the news.

Little Reuben was born just over 19 months ago, and is now the pride and joy of the family. Mum is as proud as can be and Nanny Kim (my Friend) is so devoted to her only grandson - and he thinks the world of his Nan. The best news is that far from ruining her daughter's life, it has turned it around for the good.

Clearly it helps that Mum and Daughter have a good understanding and lots of give and take, but one thing is for certain, far from being a problem, it has actually been a very positive thing that has brought them closer, and given so much joy and pleasure to bothy Mum, daughter - and not forgetting her daughters partner too.

Much like your Dad, my friend dreaded the thought of her daughter becoming pregnant so young. But once over the initial shock, she has never looked back. The most positive thing in what you say is that your boyfriend is with you 100% in wanting to keep the baby. As for your Gran and Grandad, \I am pretty certain that in a very short space of time, they would be counting down the days to when they become very proud great grand parents. I wish you all the very best and hope this true story helps give you support and comfort.

[k8bailey]

I'm 23 and I dreaded tellin my familly coz I thought they'd say I'd made a huge mistake. I was really wrong. It's my partners parents who are less supportive when we both thoght they'd be really pleased. My point is people don't always react how you'd expect!

Whatever you decide, this is alot to go thru on your own, even if your dad is mad at you to begin with he'd probably prefer that you could talk to him than have to deal with everything on your own.

Good luck!!

[sense4all]

Just wondering how you got on? Give us an update if you can please!