missing my ex who now has a girlfriend

[SizzleSquid]

2 years ago through my own fault i split up with my then boyfriend whom i loved very much. I pushed him away and away until finally he tried his best to get over me and forget about me, tho he still cared. I pushed him away and hurt him alot as something bad happened in my chilldhood and i was getting flashbacks and couldnt deal with affection-tho i never told him about this,

Recently-after having dealt with what happend, and the way i am through counselling and being a nicer person, i miss him so much and find that i still love him alot. I had ample opportunity to ask him back out but it seems as soon as i found out he has a new girlfriend it brought all my feelings for him flooding back, and i dont know why. He says he loves her now-so i will leave him alone tho we still remain friends, tho through a moment of madness i sent him a letter telling him about what happened to me and why i ended the rship and treated him badly, and that i still care 4 him deeply. I also asked if i could send back the letters and pics of himself he gave me as i hadnt the heart to keep them (too many memories)-which i did. i just feel so down in my life rite now-What should i do, remain friends or just cut off?

[Mr k]

The past is the past you have to move on...
I don't feel in your case you can remain friends as you really want more than a friendship deep down.
Forget about him and move on..

[missprim]

My advice would be to cut off completely because if you remain friends and he is with someone else it will break you up everytime they go somewhere together, holidays etc and him telling you he loves her.
It's possible you may never get over him although time does help a little, and if he wasn't in love with someone else there might have been a chance for you to try again, but if that was me I would get rid of every single thing that reminds you of someone as there will still be times,(perhaps hearing a certain song).There used to be a song in the 60's called 'Always something there to remind me' and unfortunately it will probably be that way.
I wish you lots of happiness in the future,let's hope you find it soon.

[tiggerblue10]

As above, you need to cut off Sizzle. He has moved on and so should you. There were obviously reasons why you were treating him they way you did when you were together so I doubt very much that he would want to go through it again.

Good luck for the future anyway x

[SizzleSquid]

thanks guys xx

[jno]

That's tough, Sizzle Squid, but yes, I think you have to move on - mainly because you can't go back when things have changed.

But it sounds as if there are upsides: you've had the chance of therapy which has given you a better insight into your motives and hopefully made you happier.

It's not necessarily a good idea to simply cut yourself off from your past, though (is it possible that all this was caused by your trying to suppress an earlier bad part of your life?) Rather than trying to blank it out, better to allow yourself to remember it but also remember the many other good things that have happened to you, and to keep them in proportion, rather than just obsessing about one episode. You sound like a good, sensible person. Some day you may be able to be friends with him again, but not till you're sure you're over him. Good luck.