single parents co-habiting

[charleneashb]

I am a single parent as is one of my closest friends. we both understand what a struggle it is to bring up children on your own and have to a certain extent supported eachover. we both live in grubby little council flats far from eachover and are worried how this will eventually affect our kids. we have decided we would like to move in together for the support and to give us both a chance to get decent work. however i do not know of any council schemes that will allow this and we cannot afford to privately rent as she is on income support and i am in a low paid job. We are also worried that if we were to get a council place the rent would be left entirely down to me as this is how it would work with a normal couple. does anyone know of any schemes or ways to do this?

[nat_84]

Could the lady you're moving in with get a job?

i think its a good idea by the way and hope it works out! x

[charleneashb]

yeah she probably could. ive made her sound like a bum and i promise she really aint. she had a kid young and finds it hard to get a job that fits around her life as well as a childminder she can trust leavin her kid with. thats one of the main reasons she wants to live with me. so she can get a job and a bit of freedom back.

i hope it works out to. Know ive got the idea in my head i dont wanna drop it

[nat_84]

How old is she if you dont mind me asking?

Perhaps you could both get part time jobs on alternative days and that would mean no childcare costs - best of both worlds if you like...

[charleneashb]

she is 21 this year and our plan is to do as you have said our only problem is she lives miles away and neither of us drive so running our children back and forth would cost more than we earnt. this is why it would be easier if we lived together or at least a bit closer. im hoping that over the next few months i can get into a half decent job then i could afford the rent on my own and give her a chance to get herself straight. at the mo it seems everytime i get somewhere im getting dragged down again. stuck in a poverty trap.

[Ethel]

Would you consider telling the council you are a couple in a committed relationship? It makes no difference whether you are same sex or not.

[charleneashb]

we have actually considered that and still are. We are just really worried that it would be classed as fraud an we wanna do it all properly. We would also prefer it if we could split the rent evenly no matter what circumstances we are in. if we were classed as a couple this would not happen and the highest earner would be liable for the larger part of the rent. hopefully we will go to the council in the nxt few days to weigh all our options up but i got a feeling they wont allow it.

[natalie_1982]

Is there any chance that you and your friend could share one of your flats that you are currently in? Don't declare it to the Council just yet, but as a temporary thing as although the idea sounds great in theory (and I do think it is commendable that you are both trying to change your situations that you are not happy with), the reality may not be so wonderful.

[beanebabe]

Not sure about the council house side of things but I work at our local hospital on 'the bank'. It is like their own temping agency and I work school hours and term time only (as do many of my friends/colleagues). It could be the answer to child care issues if the children are old enough for nursery/school. Good for you, that you are trying to make things better for yourselves.

[RevFunk]

Or you could always get jobs and pay for "better" accommodation

[Postdog]

Sorry, I think it is a bad idea - one or both of you will have to lose a place to live, and if it doesn;t work, you are gubbered.

I thought the same about my best friend, who happens to be female, and we were in a similar position where it looked a good idea.

Tho we are good friends, it was obvious after 3 months it wouldn't have worked out.

If there is any way you can try it first, do so, but don't rush into it.

[charleneashb]

we spend a lot of time at eachovers flats. i usually stay at hers for a week then the following week she will stay at mine. At the moment it is just an idea and we are both considering the pros and cons. Somebody asked if we could just get jobs and pay for it . im afraid life is not that simple. I am not a bum and have constantly worked since the age of 14, i was even in the armed forces until my child was born. not one job that ive had pays enough for me to even privately rent a one bedroom flat in my area, let alone something bigger.

[sara3]

if you tell the council you are a couple, then your friend's income support will be affected and may even stop (along with the housing benefit element). your wages would be taken into account when assessing her benefit rights.

why don't you ask the council if they consider joint tenancies, and just be upfront? they might be grateful to free up 2 smaller properties. you could try housing associations too.

you can always get free advice from the CAB or other welfare advisory bodies. good luck, it sounds like a good idea.. so long as you don't get sick of each other!!!

[charleneashb]

thanx very much. we aint had alot of help up till now and i honestly cant understand why. It would not only free up more properties but single parents would then no longer have excuses not to return to work and the accomodation is more likely to be payed for by themselves rather than taxpayers. There would also be a lower rate of kids growing up in poverty and abuse as parents would have the extra help they need without it costing the government a penny. I cant for the life of me understand why they have not thought of this already. Cheers though you have all been a lot more helpful than ne1 we have contacted so far. Any more comments would be more than welcome.