Dont know what to do?

[unhappychick]

My son is 10 today! and me and his father split up when he was very young due to his violence and throwing me about even when I was pregnant, I had our son and hechanged even more...for the worse, his violence continued in front of our son, and I ended the relationship, he continued to harrass me, smashing windows, cutting phone wires, and even breaking into our home and hiding in the cupboard, when he jumped out he nearly killed me,. I ended up doing a runner from him, but he found me after a while.
My problem is, he seems to think he can play the big man by bringing my son huge presents etc, he has never conrtibuted towards my son, and he never sees him, even though I tried to forget the past and last year he seemed to have changed a lot and was very sorry for everything in the past and begged me to let me see his son...I agreed , and he promised he wouldnt let him down, and said he would see him as much as possible, to try and build a relationship with him and be the father to him that hes never had, this was a year and a half ago and he has seen him 3 times, he has my sons mobile number and never calls or texts him, My ex rung this week, but only cos its my sons birthday and he wants to make a big song n dance about it. My son and I have had enough and my son told him he doesnt want to see him anymore and that he thinks he lies about everything. The truth is, he just uses my child to try and get back with me, I realise this now, and I have made a firm stand that he has broken his promise...twice now and I wont have him breaking my sons heart constantly, he has started harrassing me again, ringing at all hours and im sick of it...im scared he is going to turn up today and just dont know what to do, my son has made it clear he wants nothing to do with him, I have too,Ive told him he is playing games with a childs head and its not fair but he still continues to harrass ME, , how can I get him to leave us alone once and for all?

[andrea81]

If he is such a bad character the only way he can leave you alone and stop harassing you is by court. If you really want rid, then you should seek legal advice on the matter, it's obvious asking him has don�t nothing!

Sorry to hear your troubles, it must be a worry for you ;0)

[unhappychick]

Thanks Andrea, I did take him to court once before for harrassment, criminal damage and assault, there was photographic evidence and when being interviewed by the police he slipped up on one of the tape recordings which they were very pleased about as they said he was very careful with his answers and calculating/manipulating and even though they knew he was guilty they were worried he would get away with it all, on the day of the hearing the tape where he slipped up snapped and despite photographic evidence, black eye, massive bruises etc and my smashed up car, house windows etc he got away with it all, despite the fact I was crying in court and he was sitting there snarling at me. I couldnt believe it, and would never want to go down that route again, allthough in saying that, if I have to I will. He didnt turn up yesterday which I was pleased about, just hope it stays that way, otherwise I shall be uprooting and moving again, only this time, a lot further away! thanks again

[mimie]

Hi - Alot has changed regarding domestic violence in recent years. You can report him to the police who will go out to him and request he stop harassing you - if he then contacts you again they will arresst him. It is an offence to harrass anyone these days - and although it is not a perfect process, once he is known as an harrasser they will pick him up when you report him - thus not having to go the legal route. CPS will prosecute without your involvement if necessary. This would possibly be effective in your case as he has had allegations before albeit he got off. Change your phone number or contact your provider who can block his calls. If all else fails the police can provide you with an alarm system at home. Why should you have to uproot your son again!!!

Do not respond to him at all - he enjoys this power over you and your subsequent reactions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enusre your safety at home by having a community police officer out to your house who will identify where you have possible weaknesses, inform your sons school that he is not to be collected by anyone other than you and his father is a risk. I know it sounds like a lot of fuss - but it is well worth doing and gives you back control of your life!
Good luck x

[zzxxee]

go to the police and get an injunction a.s.a.p