Jokes8 mins ago
Dave
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"
"No drama, boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So, Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happening?? Great to see you! Come in for a beer!"
Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says.
"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, lets fly out to Washington." And off they go.
At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just On my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.......
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"
"No drama, boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So, Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happening?? Great to see you! Come in for a beer!"
Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says.
"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, lets fly out to Washington." And off they go.
At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just On my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.......
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"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Dave. "My folks are from Germany, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly To Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." He disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack, and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the bloody hell is that on the Balcony with Dave?"
"Sure!" says Dave. "My folks are from Germany, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly To Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." He disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack, and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the bloody hell is that on the Balcony with Dave?"
Who said anything about not liking it?
If nothing else, I liked it for the nostalgia value. When I first heard it, my friend dragged it out all morning with different famous people, to the point where it became the longest joke I had ever heard.
NO jokes are totally new - someone somewhere knows a variation
If nothing else, I liked it for the nostalgia value. When I first heard it, my friend dragged it out all morning with different famous people, to the point where it became the longest joke I had ever heard.
NO jokes are totally new - someone somewhere knows a variation
Good one ! okay so I heard it back in the 50's, but all the folks who criticise old gags should remember (a) there's a whole new generation out there who haven't heard them, and (b) at my time of life it's good to hear the oldies again. In time one does forget a lot of things and there's not much to smile about these days - is there PM Gordon ?
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