question of names

[Dark Angel]

Does a divorced lady have to use her married name until her daughter gets married? My friends (female)mum says that she'll go back to her maiden name once my friend gets married. Keeping your married name is a matter of choice, but does anyone think it important to have the same surname as one's adult unmarried daughter?

[andy hughes]

i think it's entirely a matter of choice. My wife divorced her first husband, and her two girls kept their surname (her married name) because that was their choice. We married and had a third daughter, who has my (our) surname. Our oldest daughter married, so now all three of them have different surnames, but it's never been any issue or problem. No-one has ever queried it with me, or as far as i know, with them.

If your friend's mum is happy to keep her ex-husband's name, fine, but if she'f like to rever to ther maiden name, I'm sure your friend would respect her wishes. I don't think it's necessary to keep a name for the sake of family members, but it does depend on how everyone feels.

[Englishbird]

She doesn't have to - but i think it's nice that she waits.  It might seem a little old fashioned, But I do think it's nice for her to have the same surname as her daughter no matter what the daughters age.

[jills]

when mum and dad divorced Mum couldn't wait to go back to her married name, and I was delighted for her to do so...I really couldn't care less if we have the same surname or not to be honest.  Plus, none of us really wanted her to be reminded of who she was married to when her post dropped through the door each morning, so a new start was welcomed all round.

Each to their own...as long as everyone's happy with it.

[natalie_1982]

My mum takes my dad's name still, although he has now remarried so now has two Mrs Nataliedadssurnamname's, but the reason my mum won't change back is that she married my dad at 18 and they were married for 26years, so she has spent more of her life being a Mrs Nataliesdadsurname than her own maiden name.  Me and my brother take my dad's surname.  My step-brother and sister take thair dad's.  I don't think it really matters nowadays.

[landie]

No, you can use any name you choose.

[Dark Angel]

Thanks for your posts.