Friends son in debt, what should I do?

[billbobaggin]

My friends son (20) has told me he is in debt - rent, council tax and his phone bill. It's going to end up very badly for him. His mum has no money and his dad (who I dont know) has become increasingly more frustrated with his sons lack of financial responsibility. There is no point in telling my friend (and he asked me not to tell her) and I don't feel in a position to contact his dad. I can advise him to speak to his dad but know he wont. Any suggestions so that I feel I have done the right thing when the might of the debt collection agencies fall and my friend goes into melt down about him? Thank-you

[ELVIS68]

Why is he telling you about his money worries instead of Citizens Advice?

Sounds like he is after a handout and using your friendship with his mum as a persuader

[sara3]

tell him to start acting like a responsible adult. make a budget, see what he can afford to offer to repay, see where he is overspending and what he is going to do about putting things in order.

btw, missed a council tax payment isn't the way to go, they're very unforgiving and may well take criminal action against him.

[RevFunk]

Or you could encourage him to sell his body for money and offer to buy a rubber ring for him to sit on

[MiniN]

sounds you are in an awkward position there. encourage him to get help before it gets further out of hand. it is true he could face time if he doesn't pay his council tax. take him to the citizens advice bureau and encourage him to talk to his family.

apart from that, sadly, there's nothing more you can do.

[myselfness]

clearly if his dads getting frustrated at him its not the first time its happened and he hasnt learnt off last time

maybe he needs to do it on his own and take the consequences so hes not depending on dear old mummy and daddy every time he over spends

[Uttingbuzz]

I agree with MiniN, there are alot of people that get into financial difficulty when there is no need, in light of the credit consumer act and the Treating Customers Fairly rule that lenders have to comply with, if he calls and tells them he is in difficulty they have a legal obligation to make an arragement with him for affordable repayments and also he may get any interest frozen too. Re the council he needs to call them too and again they will make an arrangement with him, however with the coucil he will eventually need to repay every penny must most councils will allow defering for a set period and then reassesment. The worst thing he can do is ignore it and if there isnt any family that can support him (in fact lets face it he needs to take responsibility himself anyway) then he needs to contact the companies and explain the situation. If he decides to just not pay and not contact them he is heading towards CCJ's Defaults. If renting he may be eligable for some housing benefit depending on earnings. If he contacts the companies they CANNOT set debt collectors on him but he if makes an arrangement and then doesnt even stick to that then he is leaving himself open for the vultures. CAB is definately a good place for him to go too!!! Good Luck!

[Tups]

My 22 year old niece was in a huge amount of debt, owing to her louse of a boyfriend, using her credit card. She refuses to press charges but instead, is left with having to pay back about 25 grand!! She went through a terrible time, mentally, worrying about it all and worrying her parents too. Then she was sensible and went to the Citizens Advice Bureau. They sat down with her and worked out a strategy for minimising her repayments and helped her to budget more sensibly. They were very good at negotiating with credit card companies for her and dealing with the council. This is the only way forward! Never ever give these people money; they must be encouraged to go and seek help in the appropriate places. That way they will learn to stand on their own two feet. This young man has absolutely no right to burden you with his problems. Tell him firmly but kindly that you cannot cope with knowing about them and insist he goes to the CAB.

[billbobaggin]

Thank-you for your advice. I have explained his options : professional, mum, dad and that doing nothing is not an option. I think that young people aren't aware that we learn to manage our own finances by living with little and learning what we can and can't have. I do sometimes want to 'save' the world and am conscious that giving him money is not the answer (I havent got enough anyway). so thanks again. :-)