Should I carry on seeing this person

[cazcaa]

I'm in a dilemna - I have know this man for 25 years, we used to go out with each other all those year's ago - we've remained in touch but recently we have rekindled our relationship and it has come out of the blue for both of us. The dilemna is that he has a 10 year relationship with another woman whom he rarely sees (he sees me more than her) but he can't bring himself to end that relationship. I've tried giving him space to make up his mind but its just not worked so I;m thinking I just need to stop seeing him until he sorts himself out. Anyone got any ideas?

[mischief121]

Dump him, hell never leave her see it on jeremy kyle every day!!!!!!

[lil75]

He obviously re-kindled his relationship with you because something is missing in his own relationship that he is getting from you. He must care about the other woman the fact they have been together for 20 years and the fact that he cant leave her.

I would ask him if he ever plans on ending it with her, if the answer is No, I would tell him its over, If the answer is "I dont know" I would say well you can blimin well stay with her, im out of it, and if he says yes he is planning on leaving, I would ask why the prolonging and set yourself a date, if he hasnt done it by then, I would have to say ta ta!!!

Your worth more than being a bit on the side!!!!!

[lil75]

Sorry that was meant to say the fact they have been together for 10 years!

[Ethel]

Watching Jeremy Kyle gives you experience?

Lil talks sense. :)

[lil75]

Another thought on the matter, whilst your letting him get away with it and not being firm enough, he will carry on doing it....set him straight and demand some answers

[Robinia]

There's obviously something in it for him with the other woman no matter how bad or casual he may claim it to be.
I agree with lil, I was in a very similar relationship. Thankfully I came to my senses & finished it & to the best of my knowledge he's still with her several years on.

[LoftyLottie]

In my experience men like the safety of their 'comfort zone' and are also too lazy/set in their ways to move on to a new partner even if they really love and care for a new person in their life.

Thererfore, I wouldn't wait for him to sort himself out, because he probably never will, even if he doesn't much care for her.

[Mully79]

Sounds like he's having his cake and eating it, what a great position he's in, unlike you. As he's been with her for so long, why don't you say to him: you've got one month to sort yourself out and finish with her. If you haven't by then, it's over between us. No ifs, no buts - stick to your guns.

[ceejn]

Wow ! is he having a good life,hes got hes little security blanket that he just can't seem to end it with(translated,that means he doesn't want to end it ) then he has someone else all gooey eyed over him.I would be walking very very fast in the opposite direction.

[firetracie]

Hi cazcaa

Sorry but I agree with Lottie. He may want what he could have with you but he's got to have the courage to take that step.

Whilst you're allowing him to have both you're making him comfortable. If he's not prepared to take that step, I'd end it.

[cazcaa]

Thanks Guys hard as its been I've ended it - not holding my breath that that will do the trick either!!
Caz

[pmorris1961]

Have you thought about approaching the "other lady" - i was once in this situation and the chap said although they lived together they were just mates, and he really did intend to leave when he met the right woman, but when i popped into to have a chat with her, she said she considered him to be her "life long live in partner" !!!!