Help!

[lil75]

I have been in a relationship for nearly a year and it is getting a serious relationship, talk or marraige etc. The problem is my 10 year old son, he thinks that people have sex, not for enjoyment but just to make babies, he has got it into his head that we are trying to have a baby...He is deliberately staying awake till very late at night and keeps bursting into my bedroom, in case we try and "make a baby", He will use any excuse to burst in and its getting to a stage now where I am feeling uncomfortable about making love, just in case he bursts in. I just dont know what to do, I have told him that I dont want a baby at the moment, and even if we did eventually have one he would still be my best boy, my son admitted that he would be jealous if I where to have another child, but I told him that is not going to happen for a very long time even if at all! I understand he is feeling insecure about it and have tried to reassure him as much as I can. I just dont know how to deal with this, so any suggestions would be very helpful, thanks

[MiniN]

i don't have children but i think sometimes people underestimate a childs understanding. can you not sit him down and explain to him why it is inappropriate for him to bursting in unless something is wrong?

if that doesnt work, why not have sex in the bathroom if there is a lock on the door?

[puddicat]

The lad is 10 think he needs reassurance, but these days children are more knowing about sex!!!!

[MiniN]

maybe he is feeling insecure about his place in the family especially if your bf has only been around for a year? maybe he doesn't like your bf getting attention, even if it is in the bedroom?

[lil75]

Well hes associating sex with marraige etc, thats why hes got it in his head, as he knows weve talked about marriage...He has told me he doesnt want me having another child, I am trying my best to make him feel better but it just isnt working!!!! I dont want to put a lock on my bedroom door as it will make him feel as if I am shutting him out, but I dont want him to see us in the "act", I think I need to have another talk with him, but dont wanna give too much info if you know what I mean

[tigwig]

I think you need to have another talk with him and gently explain that sex isn't just for making babies. Obviously you will have to word it appropriately for his age and keep reassuring him that he is the most important thing in your life but without letting him get way with unacceptable behaviour. Make it clear that he isn't to just barge into the bedroom without knocking first. It sounds to be like the baby thing could be an excuse and perhaps he's more worried about you getting married and him coming 2nd best. Either way tell him that isn't the case and make time to have good quality time with him everyday.

[lil75]

Thanks all, I have had a talk with him and explained that people dont just have sex to have babies and explained as best I could that people make love because its enjoyable...not an easy thing to do!!! I also explained about contraception as he has already asked me about these things in the past so thought now would be a good time to talk about it. I also spoke to my friend about it, and she asked if he sleeps in my bed when my partner isnt there, I said he does, my friend said that I shouldnt do that as when my partner is back I send him off to his own bed and its a feeling of rejection...so no more sleeping in my bed, well only nown again! I explained that he is the most important thing in my world and told him how much I love him and that if he ever has any worries he can come and talk to me about it...we had a cuddle told one another we loved eachother and he seems quite happy now, thank goodness for that!