I know how you feel, no shoulders to cry on. I wish i had someone to call up at 3 in the morning and say, hey, i need you. and they'd come. what you SHOULD do is call up ur friends and hit the bars. alcohol doesn't solve anything, but it'll give you courage, and hey, you might meet someone.
Alex...talk about it lots...cry about it lots and eventually find a good therapist who will provide support and help you find a way forward. Good luck :-)
Ive found myself 3times in the middle of the night -just when i thought there was no-one here- but needing to pour out my feelings -suddenly people came to me and helped me and each and everyone I have thanked from the bottom of my heart.
Its the lonely hours -been there and to an extent still there but anytime you feel that youre staring into space come on here and I can guarantee you will have a friend and people who will see you through your darkest moments -ignore the odd pleb --but the majority are really good people who have been there and can empathise and man it helps.xx
I cant help you Alex but i do know you were the only man in Sona in prison break season 3 who could have taken Sammy, that neck break thing you do is awesome. ex Delta force i believe.