Did anyone see GMTV on bullying at work this morning?

[roosi]

I did, and I am one of those people.....

.....Are you? Have you ever experienced this at work?

I have at several places......

....Must just be unlucky!

R
x

[Hermia]

I haven't, but I know people who have been bullied at work and it can totally destroy their confidence. In one place I worked the boss used to relentlessly bully this this woman. No one could work out why and nothing we said helped. The boss had just hated her from the beginning and everytime she saw her she just had to do or say something nasty.

In another place I worked there was this awful guy who used to be so vile to people and then accuse them of not having a sense of humour if they objected. I remember once he went up to this woman and told her she was a fat, ugly bitch and when she objected he said "what's wrong with you? Can't you take a joke??". Luckily he wasn't in my department.

When I was a kid I looked forward to being an adult because I thought it would mean an end to all the tiresome bullies and cliques you get at school. How wrong I was!

[roosi]

Hermia, my thoughts exactly about the playground thing - so true!

I have been targetted mainly in the case of walking into a room full of the (same) people, and they ask a question (about life in general) as this question was directed at everyone / anyone, and times when I have gone to answer just to be ignored on my response - very rude, and highly humiliating. I have also encountered going up to someone's desk to tell them or ask about something work related, and they keep their back to me and don't look up but mumble under their breath that they heard me and don't make face / eye contact! It's also a very subtle way but highly distressing thing to do to someone in the workplace - as the information was to benefit them - was passing this on merely out of courtesy.....

Also, I find that they will speak about things to do with things that they know I have got in common with them, but if I go to reply or respond to these facts / figures, I get ignored. Also get snapped at for no reason, and sometimes if I stand up to look over the divider to say "oh I found out about that" or "ermember we discussed, well what do you think", there is no eye contact they continue to stare at their screen and everyone can see that they are doing this, which makes me stammer a bit, then blush then sit down without having got my point across really, and feeling useless!! Just makes me want to hide away at work - I plug my headphones in and ignore it mostly, and I have sort of become a hermit - not like this out of work at all, but I feel I don't want to socialise with anyone at work, as they are "just" colleagues, and don't particularly "like" or have anything in commong with them, so keep myself to myself!

[ceejn]

Keep on keeping yourself to yourself,this is not a bad thing to do,i tend to do it where i work as when i hear folks chatting they (not all but some ) are slagging the other workers off anyway and it bores me.Don't bother trying to converse with this person again,they are probably enjoying seeing your reaction so don't feed them. As long as you have friends out side of work then try to get through the day as best as you can.Maybe 1 day someone will join your team that you can relate and chat to,if not sod the others.

[roosi]

That's my experience in the office too that the others are constantly slagging folk - I hate this type of thing, and that's exactly why I keep myself to myself, somehow I have inner peace knowing that I haven't become a nastty peace of work that enjoys tearing other people apart, I can rise above it!

But isn't it sad that I have to be so intraverted at work just to avois this petty pastime and not to feel I have been taken the mickey out of, although my mum and I are very very similar personality wise, and she has experienced this in the place of work also, she said later on this morning GMTV were talking (once I had got to wk) the fact that these people are "jealous" of people (for want of a better word) that they extradite for whatever reason, and I should just try to keep thinking this way - although it's hard to when you feel so pushed into corners all the time....

Ho hum, nevermind it's Friday again!!!! :-)))))

[Hermia]

Oh, I HATE the whole slagging people off culture you get in workplaces. The occasional bit of gossip is fine, but not the relentless slagging. Firstly, it creates a really nasty atmosphere. I also think it poisons the people that get involved in it - they just seem to become more bitter and twisted as times goes on. It's like the joy is sucked out of them.

I briefly (thank God I left!) worked in an office with this culture. They never wanted to talk about anything nice. I once came into the office with the news that a well-liked girl from the office next door had just got her degree results in and had got a first and they weren't remotely interested.

[Scarlett]

I was bullied twice- once by an old sow who just hated that fact that I was working there, when previously I had been a student there. It was a female thing I think- she thought that by ignoring me I would not exist. She got sacked shortly afterwards- HA! Also I got bullied at the same place when my horrible SISTER worked there. She is a bully by nature and is very rude and short tempered. She would take all her angst out on me, simply because she was my sister. Predicatably, she left too, under a black cloud. Karma will sort the bullies out- eventually.

[mandimoo]

yes, why oh why does it seem that the only way to get 'in' with alot of people, is to make sure you are taking the p*ss out of the same victim. horrible.

[roosi]

I know mandimoo - exactly what I think and exactly why I steer clear! I think it's pathetic to have a "victim" to slag in order to make yourself feel "worthier" and "better"


Oooooohhhhh little people with little minds Arrrrrrrrrgh hate 'em!

[Nosha123]

I felt bullied in my old job.... the guy who oversaw my work actually picked up a ohot album and threw it across the room at me once!!! and then again in my new job where a girl felt threatened by me from day one and took an instant dislike. The bosses in the end moved me away from her as she created such an oppresive atmosphere! Find a bully free buddy and stick together...

[Lil O'lady]

There is bullying done by a group of people, mostly women, at my place of work and it continues because the management are cr*p. Not dealing with bullying is just one thing they don't do. Not having an accident reporting procedure, not keeping timesheets and not following financial procedures are also among their little list of no-no's. As several have said, just keep out of the whole culture. My view is, I go to work to get paid. I will be upset if they stop paying me. If anyone breaks written rules by being offensive to me I will take it up with the appropriate parties. I will not join in when they want to get someone behind their back and I have told individuals to their faces that what they are doing is wrong. They get shamefaced on an individual level - don't all bullies?
Years ago, I worked at a place where the boss was a terrible bully and the lovely thing is, he ended up with a suspended prison sentence for theft. Doesn't always work that way, but when it does, rejoice!

[eyeshade]

Lil old lady, I agree, if the management are cr@p then the whole thing falls down. We have bullying at work but we also have people who think they are being bullied and they're not, they just don't listen or think they are right all the time. It can be a complete nightmare!! I used to think having policies in place and making sure they were implemented was totally boring but I have come to realise that they are worth their weight in gold when you have someone who says they are being bullied. Such a shame when we spend most of our lives in the work place!

[puddicat]

Feel for you roosi hate bullying, and will defend some who is going through it, these people enjoy there so called status, and tend to do it in front of others, so they can justify themselves,i am lucky because the company i work for take a serious view on this, and if i felt the need i could talk in confidence with someone,you can contact certain agencies if you feel you arent getting the support you need from your workplace, and it will be in confidence!!!!

[LINDA10GIB]

i was bullied for about 7 years and worked for marks and spencer for 15 in their print company i never had any problems until i went onto a focus group and raised issues which staff were complaining about on sex discrimination and other matters i was subjected to harrassment and humiliation and excluded and left alone as much as possible it affected my health a lot and i was off with stress for 5 months i changed department 3 times and was left unsupervised on dangerous machinery without adequate training i was given a document from jobcentre plus which stated i suffered an industrial injury due to the way my manager had treated me when i asked him to give me adequate training, he just gave me a severe dressing down. i was on medication at the time which the company knew about. i was alienated from my colleagues and given menial tasks and was obstructed at every turn i took them to an employment tribunal but the chairman disregard vital evidence even an act of perjury committed by the senior manager and the personnell assistant i wasnt allowed to read my witness statement nor was anything which proved my case mentioned on the chairmans report, i went to the police on the perjury matter and they refused to interview the witnesses i even asked if they would go back to the lay people at the court and once again they refused to do this the chairman said it was not protocol which is exactly the opposite of the truth but the police would not pursue this but not one was answered the up side is that all involved 7 people all lost their jobs before my hearing and afterwards i was offered 30,000 by the company but refused this as i wanted justice but did not get this at court due to the company buying their verdict but a lot of people have come off worse off because of my actions and although i did not get justice in court i do not regret taking my case to court i was able to show the company up by revealing what was going on

[Eve]

It seems to be very common in the legal world and I hate that part of it.

Partly it seems to attract people who are very short fused and just lash out at whoever is nearest which can be a very distressing thing to be involved in and see.

I had a boss who was a wonderful person but would just go off his rocker if he got wound up. I was told him and some former secretaties had screaming matches across the department or hadn't lasted very long (2 hours for one temp) so vowed to never let get to that point and despite a few tears on the quiet and some horrible moments managed it and he would usually apologise when he calmed down and in many ways was very good to me.

Once qualified, I had another boss with similar temprement but without the redeeming features who did it to all staff including the senior lawyers in a very nasty way and a previous firm got rid of it because of it.

He went way too far one day and I decided the opportunity (very highbrow bespoke firm that I couldn't believe I'd actually got the job in) wasn't worth it and it was his firm so not recourse, and quietly found another job and gave my notice in. In my reference he said he hadn't wanted to lose me which was nice but just not enough.

I've seen others been bullied quite a bit in a few places which was a horrible thing to see and hard to help and I turned down the chance of a very good job because of the horrible attitude of two of the people who worked there and wanted me to be a prt of their "group". I realised the kind of person I'd have to be to get on there and turned the job down even though, with having been seconded to help out, I'd given up my workload at the main office and knew they couldn't keep me on there either as redundancies were being made in my dept.

I'm luckily in a place now where there is no bullying and, if there was, it would not be tolerated.