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Don't believe in marriage

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roosi | 11:56 Tue 02nd Sep 2008 | Family & Relationships
15 Answers
Neither of us are religious enough to stand up in church and say vows, but do want to be each other's formal next of kin, us + any children having the same surname, and maybe a "ceremony" or celebration to mark it?

Any suggestions apart from;

Changing names by deed poll?
Writing a will?
Civil Ceremony?

Suggestions on what you have done / heard people doing etc appreciated. Just think there must be a great fun, "non-religious" way of getting "hitched" without the vows / church etc?

Want to celebrate our love for one another, without the big fluffy day..................

Anyone else feel this way?

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We had a civil ceremony and that was lovely. We are not religious either and it would be hypocitical of us to get married in a church when we never go.
If you've got the cash, why not go to Vegas and do the whole tacky Elvis, Little White Chapel thing?

It might have a smattering of religion in it but on the whole I bet it's a riot!
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What were you made to say "vow" wise during this ceremony, or was that left extirely up to you?

who do you contact for such a ceremony?
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Does the Civil Ceremony thing still entitle you to everything that marriage would or do you miss out on anything?

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Boo, would do although I HATE elvis LOL!
In a Registry Office you can instruct the oaths within the Law and for legality of your partnership.
Awww roosie,k lol- how`could you? It's The King!

Mr Boo and I soooooooo wanted to do the Elvis/Vegas thing when we got married, but funds dictated otherwise. We've since decided that we'll do our vow renewals there instead. Not romantic I know, but we aren't the hearts and flowers type couple and I bet it's a real hoot.

We had a civil ceremony in the end, and whilst it's nice, I couldn't help feeling we were on a conveyor belt. As we were going in, another wedding had just finished, and as we were coming out, another couple were going in.
A civil marriage ceremony IS a marriage (assuming you are male & female). It can be conducted at any licensed venue. Lucky people now - we got married in a register office over 30 years ago, as it was the only place you could if you didn't want a church ceremony. It was in a really grotty area of town, with graffiti everywhere. Cost us the great sum of 75p I think - but we are still married - unlike many of my friends!
either of you can change your names
it does not have to be through deed poll
why not just have a name changimg party where all your friends can turn up then you can formally anounce to them that from now on you would like to be called mr and mrs ------- ( fill in as appropiate )
Beware of marriages abroad, as Mick Jagger & Jerry Hall.

Jagger (lothario) proved his marriage non-existant when divorcing Hall.

There were no "vows" as such. None of that obey and sickness and in health stuff. We just said something like, "We will always love each other and we no of no reason why we shouldn't get married". That sort of thing.

The registrar at your local council will be able to help.
I got married in a registry office and it was lovely - you could choose your own music and walk down the central aisle if you wanted to - it was done in an italian renaissance style, but they did have another room that was more traditional. You could choose your vows (or no vows), but had to cover the basic legal requirements. Completely non religous.

I think that you can get the registrars to do ceremonies in other places the same as religous ceremonys, but there may be less choice depending on your local office.

There are probably other places such as Pagan organisations etc that do weddings, but whether these are legal or not, I haven't got a clue.
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I can tell you exactly what my husband and I said during our civil ceremony because it was only 11 months ago and I have kept the booklet with the ceremony written out in full in. The word vow isn't necessarily a religious term, it just really means solemn promise, its just the church uses it but then they use a lot of words.
Oh and we weren't allowed to have any readings or music that had any religious connotations.


Ok...so I will try and just put in the bits that you might be interested.
......... and ......... today you will exchange vows of marriage which will unite you as husband and wife. These vows are are a promise of lifelong commitment, giving your families and friends the opportunity to meet together in celebration of your happiness and to impart their own message of love and support.

blah blah

Marriage is the promise of hope between two people who love each other, who honour one another as individuals and who wish to share their future together. It enables people to share their dreams and memories, their joys and laughter and to help each other through troubled times. It encourages them to risk more and thus to gain more.
blah blah
then you do the I know not of any lawful impediment business and then the ''I do'' bit.
Then for the formal vows of marriage we had a choice of 3

A).........I give you this ring as a symbol of our marriage and as a lasting reminder of the promise we have made her today.
B)........I give you this ring as a symbol of our marriage, I promise to give you my love and friendship, I promise to confide in you, to trust and protect you, I promise to be there when you need me most, always and forever.
C)........I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, all that I am I give to you, all that I have I share with you, I promise to love, cherish and protect you for as long as we both shall live.

..........and........ you have made the declarations precsribed by law and have made solemn and binding vows to each other. You have sealed those vows with the giving and receiving of a ring. In addition you have given to each other a promise of love and commitment. May you always love, honour and cherish one another and may you live full and happy lives together.

Hope this helps

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