emotions

[nkostyuk]

I just got out of a abusive relashionship, I am thinking about dating so I can forget somethings from the past. Is it better for me to date or wait to heel on my own?

[Ice.Maiden]

You'll know when you're ready, nk. It differs from person to person, but if you plunge into another full-on relationship too quickly, you're in danger of still carrying the past baggage with you, which can irritate or bore a new partner.
From a personal view, I'd still go out with friends, but not really for the sole purpose of finding someone to be with. If it happens, it'll happen naturally, but make sure you steer away from the trap of repeating past mistakes by going for the same type of person as your ex was. Good luck.

[nkostyuk]

Thank you for the reply, I really dont want to ruin a new relationship with someone its not their fault i was hurt. thanks

[Ice.Maiden]

You don't have to ruin a new relationship nk - and I really hope you find a decent one that you deserve, but there's nothing worse than using a new one as a shoulder to ctry on. I think what I'm trying to say, is that if you pour out your troubles, and go on and on about an ex, or you find that their abuse towards you's made you wary of being yourself, then any new relationship's not going to work out very well. Finding an understanding partner's one thing, but if you still hold a candle for the first, then it's going to show. If you feel that you've shaken off the past by now - then great - but iIknow that some abusive relationship's leave folk with very little confidence and self esteem, so you really ought to wait until you get that back first.

[nkostyuk]

Thank you that is helpful!

[zzxxee]

i was in an abusuve relasionship for 7 years do you have kids? i found that they are a great comfort i went on several training courses and really enjoyed being a single mum for 4 years until i met my lovely partner who ive been with for 5 years now.. go on have a love affair with yourself and find out who you are and the rest will fall into place..

[nkostyuk]

No i dnt have any kids eventhough when i was with him i thought i got preganant but i was not and im happy that it was not with him i was with him for 1 1/2 years spent one year trying to get away from him! but it does sound good to have an affair with myself! thanks