new job and one collegue is making my life a misery

[minnie1974]

hi all, really in need of some advice.

Ive just started a new job as a nurse in the nhs. Ive been there about 3 weeks, but one colleague is making my life a misery, so much so that im thinking of resigning. She's a heath care assitant and as made it clear she dosent like me, which is making me feel so uncomfortable, everything i do, she devalues. For instance, i was attending too a patient with another HCA and he needed too be lifted up the bed, obviously you shouldnt life anyone, so i suggested we lift him up with the sheet, at this point, she was also on the scene and suggested this wasnt an option and got the patient under the arm with the other hca and manual handled him this way, i said that we shouldnt be lifting in this way and her response was, well there's lots of things here we shouldnt be doing and totally disregarded what i said. Iv noticed that shes very friendly with the ward manager, so dont feel i can go too her. please as anyone any advice.

[alicebear87]

What do your other collegues think? I bet you are not the only one who suffers from it - bullying at work is not acceptable so you should ask to talk to your ward manager in confidence as she needs to be professional and disregard her personal feelings towards her employees.

Having said that, are you sure she dislikes you or is it just her way to be a bit abrupt? I work with some people like that and I just try to show I'm friendly by asking about their kids and if they had a nice day off etc.

[brenda]

I am so sorry that you are finding your new job less than a happy situation,and my advice would be to carry on regardless.

Your colleague is obviously not a happy person , and there could be many reasons for this.

She may be be very apprehensive about your arrival with regard to her own position for example.

She may already be aware that you are a more competent,
nurse than she is.

There are 100's of reasons why she may not like you.

She may be a totally nasty person and there is nothing you can do about that.

However, don't let her drive you out, that way she has won and got rid of you.

The NHS needs good nurses, so try to be as pleasant to her as you can in your professional dealings, be careful what you say to others at the moment, and get on with your job in a professional way.

When she finds that she is not upsetting youI am sure that someone else may become her target.

Your duty and that which you are getting paid for is to provide the best care possible for your patients, so don't waste your energy on this colleague.

When you are more established in your post you may find that you are not the only one to suffer in this way.

However in a situation where her attitudeand behaviour puts others at risk you need to document this ,and bring the matter to the attention of the ward manager, making her aware that your complaint is not frivolous in nature and that you have documented the whole thing for your own protection.

Do not keep anything written at your work place!!!!!

Hope this helps , the very best of luck in the future.

[Tups]

I learnt a long time ago that people can only make you feel angry and uncomfortable if you empower them to. Concentrate on your breathing when you are with her and don't let her see you are rattled. If she is indeed a bully, she will feed off your discomfort. Be confident and pleasant and even praise her when she does something well. It's very difficult to be unkind to someone who is being kind to you. Just like a smile is infectious, so is pleasant behaviour. It will take courage and self control on your part but why not try it. It would be so much more pleasant for you both if you were on the same side. Good luck.

[helpmetoo]

yes you probably should resign,

life at work is not a fluffy bed of roses,

allow for the odd person to be a to$$�r and dis them as appropriate,

[beanebabe]

I work in HR for the NHS and there are no end of grievances against staff members! Keep a diary for a few weeks - you probably think you can remember the various incidences but they will become a blur. The NHS has very clear guidelines on dealing with this type of problem. Your department will have a dedicated HR Manager who you can approach for advice, in confidence. Don't be hounded out of your job by one person. Good luck!

[UkPagan54]

As you work in the NHS. There must be a Trust policy on Manual Handling or Safety. Ask to see a copy of the policy. I work in the NHS and you do NOT lift anyone unaided. Steel nurse etc etc. Inform your ward manager that you are being pressured to work dangerously and also complete an incedent form.. Ask for a copy of the incedent form. They have the habbit of growing legs and wandering off. You are correct in all you say. Dont be put in the situation of hurting yourself because of some ignorant staff. Bear in mind that if you hurt the patient you could be in for suspension.. The sack.. Getting sued... You have to check what the policy is then stick to it. Life with constant back pain is not very funny...

[UkPagan54]

alicebear87 Bullying is widespread in the NHS and you cannot stop it. Well if your of the lower classes. un-qualified nurse.. porters..domestics for example. I work in theatres and there may be laws but they dont work in the NHS. Trusts like to cover them up. The same as schools. I work as part of a theatre team ( Supposedly ). Bullying is part of my job. It`s what us un-qualified staff are for. To use as stress relievers...