birds and the bees

[sharonlouise]

what age and how  much do you tell them about the birds and the bees?

birds and the bees

[spudqueen]

Start young and simple, you grew in Mummys tummy, that sort of thing. Also go to your local bookshop (or Amazon) and have a look for an appropriate book for the age of the child.

[andy hughes]

Simple is best - answers to questions should be tailored to the level of the child's understanding. Be open and honest, and make sure a child grows up in an atmosphere of openess and honesty, where questions are welcomes, and answered fully and honestly.

[FP]

Completely agree with Andy.  Children develop at different rates so you cannot apply rules.  Simple questions from them should be answered simply - there is no reason to elaborate until they ask again and are ready.  We never sat down and told our child about the birds and the bees.  His understanding and knowledge grew over a period of time as he developed.   Children are known for questionning incessantly and this should be welcomed by parents.  It's the best way of learning. 

[Lillabet]

I totally agree with the other respondents - you don't need a sit down talk with diagrams. Keep it simple. If you did want a book to help you into the discussion then Mummy Laid and Egg by Babette Cole was what my sister used to help her explain her pregnancy to my three year old nephew. She speaks very highly of the book.

[magicdice]

we were having that discussion yesterday, my friends & i established that schools tell enough about it with the puberty talk you get as a 10 or 11 year old; until then i'd suggest answering questions simply but truthfully, the basics are covered at the end of primary school and by the time kids reach secondary school people are discussing what they've heard etc & work out the rest for themselves. my secondary school gave us little sex education & we're all getting by just fine

[andy hughes]

Just to add - when it comes to seconday age children, remember, they hear a lot of nonsense in the playground. I told all my daughters that they could ask me anything, and I would tell them the truth, regardless of what ever they had heard. My youngest was delighted to hear that a man does not actually discharge smoke from his penis when he reaches a climax!

[dirtyharriet]

My God Andy, who told her that?

I'd just add that you can give them too much info. My eldest was asking questions when I was pregnant with his brother. I answered as simply as possible about sperms and eggs and growing in mummy's tummy etc. I asked him to repeat it back to see that he understood and it seemed he did. However 6 months later when he was 8 he asked me when his periods were going to start, so it looked as though I'd given him too much info and he'd got confused.

[FP]

I hope my son never reads this!!  He asked me about how babies are put into mummies'  tummies by daddies, so I gave him a simple answer about special cuddles and mummy's special place where daddy puts his willy, etc.  (He was three at the time)

A great deal of thought from my son and then the profound statement:

"I was looking forward to being a man, and now I'm not'.

I think he's changed his mind now he's grown up!

[ICEMANSAV]

The birds are flying around and the bees are trying to have sex with them...as is my understanding......

[silly moo]

You answer whatever question they ask.
BUt you only answer the question actually asked for young children.
A 2 yr old asking 'Where did I come from' is not a request for the complete facts of life talk, the answer is 'mummy's tummy'
I am sure that like most parents you have enough common sense to work out where to go from here.