Can anyone explain this?

[angry]

I have been seeing this guy for over a year. It's only on and off i see him. Maybe once a month or more I go round to his flat, we have drinks, watch a dvd, although recently we have started going out to places too. However he has a girlfriend. He is 28, she is 23, and i am 20.

I enjoy what the relationship is, even though i know its morally wrong.

I consider myself to be average looking women. His girlfriend is better looking than me i think, has a better job etc.

My questions is what is the deal here?...... Why would he have all that with his girlfriend, which i'm guessing he like most the time (although he often puts of seeing her to see me). And have me on the side? Wondering if anyone can shine some light?

[cazzz1975]

its because he can, you are merely an ego boost for him, when you have had enough of being a bit on the side then he will just find someone else to replace you.

this has nothing to do with looks, you are one of many (including his real gf) its about him. eventually when you get fed up with being his secret shag, you might find another man who is proud to call you his girlfriend and show that pride to the world!

[Prudentia]

nowt wrong with you chuck you just got yourself a selfish deceitful prat, ditch him immediately and move on, sh??s like him are ten a penny

[jno]

you seem to have found a man even less capable of commitment than most. Are you sure you wouldn't be better off looking for womeone who're prepared to think of you as a more long-term investment?

Possibly not, of course. If you're only in the market for short-termism and he is too, then you're suited to each other. This is true of plenty of people.

I feel sorry for the girlfriend though. Does she know about you?

[angry]

I wouldn't have thought she knew about me.... think i probably would have heard from her by now if she did. I know the situation isn't a nice one. I just don't understand why he would want to do this. Do men like this even like the women on the side?

[cazzz1975]

well he certainly does not respect you, if he liked you or thought of you as anything more than a casual shag then he would not be seeing his girlfriend, he is having his cake and eating it because you let him.

[petal54]

i feel you need a fresh start,not easy though to make the break,but you can come out of this a happier person & find some one who's for you alone

[sir.knobby]

Blimey cazzzy so you can be sensible after all, now stop it as I dont like seeing you like this.

[angry]

I'm not defending him at all..... But most the time we are just friends i'm honest...... it doesn't seem like a go round there just for sex. But maybe thats cos im blind to it

[tiggertan]

Hi angry, my advice is to end it now.

You have no future with him. Even if he dumped his gf for you, could you ever trust him not to do the same thing to you? Also (obvious I know!) how can you do that to someone? Think how you would feel if you found out your partner was seeing/sleeping with someone else behind your back?

Get shut of the insecure loser and you will find someone who treats you with respect.

Take care.

[onlyme26]

i dont think what you are doing it right at all, if you know he has a g/f then you should end it

he sounds like a right idiot! having his cake and eating it!!!

i know doesnt seem like your the one doing anything wrong as he is the one with the g/f

but can imagine how she would feel if she found out? she would be mortified, disgusted infact,

poor girl, i think you should tell her and let her go find someone decent for herself.

[Bbbananas]

Have a little more self-respect. Stop going round there. Find yourself a single boyfriend who respects you. Or find a way to be content being alone until the right one comes along.

[legend.isgod]

Whats the deal here ?
Welll in my opinion, and thats alll it is , youre just an easy s_ _ g and he likes a bit of variety.

He will put her offf when she isnt being exactly as hewants , whereas you are there and jump when he says so.
Honestly if i had so little respexct for myself id rather go without than demean myself being the other person and a cheap s - - g.

Theres no light and you seem to drifting through life aimlessly .

Thats my opinion and a direct response to your question.

HOPE THAT HELPED ?

[4getmenot]

legend!! ok to have an opinion but to call her that. surely a sl_g would be getting it elsewhere too. Lots of people I;m sure have fallen for people and been totally blind when doing so. She is a silly girl and will soon realise but he is the bad one in all this and will end up lonely

[onlyme26]

yeah calling her a cheap sh*g is a little harsh but he isnt the only one to blame here,

if you are fully aware that he has a g/f then there are 2 ppl at fault here,
i have ( like a lot of people) been cheated on, and the pain is worse then anything i have ever experienced in my life! you could have stabbed me 1000 times in the heart and it wouldnt have hurt half as much as when i found out!!

so i see it all from the g/f point of view, its not even as if he has fallen for you! no that that makes it any better but at least her getting hurt would be for something,

where as a bit of fun once a month is nothing, if that is all it is why not go find someone else ( g/f less) to sleep with

[Nightfold]

Hes just using you babe, get out of there before it gets bloody.
x

[angry]

lol shocking how certain people think when you ask a question it gives them the direct right to leave comments regarding the rest of your life.... when they clearly have no idea. Naming no names (Legend is a Knob... :S i mean God)

[ceejn]

He's using you , plain and simple and you're making it easy for him.He doesn't seem to care too much for his girlfriend but he will think even less of you.
When you get older you will realize that its not all about wether shes better looking than you or has a better job.Its about a guy that has a regular girlfriend that probably thinks the world of him,then on the side he has a young girl that gives him extra fun with no committment.
And of course he will put her off to see you at times, don't flatter yourself with this ,afterall what would be more enticing to an immature guy...watching your girlfriend ironing or having sex with a young girl .He doesn't even have to bother going out as you go round.Try not having sex with him and then see how long it lasts.
Kiss him goodbye

[rachael88]

he is selfish he has a girlfriend and he is seeing u aswel , u don't need a bloke like that get rid of him and find someone else , don't feel jealous sounds to me that is what he wants xxxxxx