New Relationship - has we moved to fast??

[Asian_GirlUK]

Hello, I'm twenty years of age and recently got into a new relationship after a year. I met this new lad on WAP chat 11 months ago and we didnt meet until a month ago - Over the time we used to speak via the phone, we both began feeling more for each other.....WE met the first time, and we kissed, quite passionately.
I didn't stop him, as I enjoyed it, but a part of me felt that we were taking things too quickly.

WE met again last night and got very intimate with each other in the back of his car - but we didn't have sex, because I told him I didnt want to. But the fact that we foreplayed together makes me wonder if I let things go too far.....in a way, i have some regret for what I did with him, but its too late for that now....I love him, but don't know if he feels the same - he told me he did today, but that was after a good few weeks. Is it because we got so intimate with each other that he said he loved me??

Just want someone to give me some advice on whether this was a good move to make on my part, because I'm kinda confused now about whether I want to take things further with him.....as you can tell!!

[Scarlett]

This may just be me being old and cynical, but I do not think he loves you. He wants to have sex with you. He has made that more than clear. You obviously are looking for something more than sex. I don't think this is the best way to find it!

[Morrisonker]

be very careful, you do not know this man.

 

It's a sad fact, and one i don't want to use to include all guys, but some are low enough to use your emotions to get what they want.  If he's been speaking to you for nearly a year he probably knows a lot about you and very probably you've spoken about previous relationships.  He'll have some idea of what you want to hear.  Be careful.  If he loves you, he won't mind wating and if you have regrets then you know what you've done wasn't right for you.

 

Good luck and be careful

[Octavius]

Agree with both of the above.  I think your feelings may be lust not love, and I think his are the same.  Trust me I'm a bloke and although we are inherently stupid, we know that women can be gullible too and what we can say to get a woman to sleep with us (most of the time). 

 

From your post it sounds like you are uncomfortable with how the situation went - and you got into the back of a car with a stranger???

 

I think if you want to develop the relationship, hold off on the intimate canoodling in the back of the car (it's not exactly classy is it) and arrange to meet in public places during day time say coffeee shops or something.  Let him know that you didn't want it to go that far and you want to wait a while.  Then you will see if he still has genuine interest in you (and not what your body can give him).  Don't do something that you might truly regret unless you are comfortable with it, and with the consequences it may bring.

[Asian_GirlUK]

Theres something I didnt mention about him - after our first date, he didnt get back in touch with me for two weeks - it was then I thought he was messing around - but he told me he was busy with work and annoyed at me because I sent him a message saying that I knew all along that I didnt mean anything to him.
But he's done the same thing again. WE met friday night - I spoke to him last on saturday afternoon - and his phone's been switched off again since then.
Its true he know alot about me - he knows about my past relationships and what kind of person I am - I'm probably the most insecure person ever. And I find it so hard to trust people. But a part of me feels that this guy is genuine...then again, another part of me thinks he hasnt been totally honest with me . But when I confront him and ask him straight up, he gets upset with the fact that I dont trust and confide in him.

I must admit, within the period of time I have known him, I hardly know anything about his family, and he doesnt talk to me like a couple does - but at the same time, he talks about how much he cares for me........I dont want to let go - I'm scared to do that again - after having to let go of people in the past, especially thise who I loved so much......hELP.....(again!).....???

[Octavius]

Sorry to be blunt, but you need to get out more.

 

I thought you said that he loved you?  Now he cares about you?  Of course he will be upset if you say that you are insecure and you don't truist him.  I'm going to be blunt again: I don't know much about this chap but he seems to be saying all the right things to get into your knickers.  And it appears to be working.  Maybe his phone is switched off because he doesn't want his wife and kids or girlfriend to get your calls/messages?

 

Let him do the chasing for a change, but as I said above, meet in places where the situation will not be able to go beyond what you are comfortable with.  Life is the longest thing you ever do, don't rush it.  Enjoy it with someone you can trust and love.

[Scarlett]

Sorry, but if he genuinely felt anything for you he would not leave his phone switched off for days. He is obviously avoiding you! Get out now, and find a NICE bloke who isn;t going to want you for just sex, and then get funny with you when you don't put out!!!

[raven8401]

Ok you are taking this way to fast. you need to sit down with him and have a talk. You need to find out how he really feels about you. To see if he's just using you. Just because he said he loves you doesn't mean he means it. And ask your self what do you really know about this guy. How do you really feel about him. Is it more then lust. really all I'm saying is really think about what would happen after you two had sex.