How to make Friends & Influence people?

[ikefoona]

I'm 24 (nearly) and although it sounds really sad i don't really have any friends! A few work colleagues that i get on with but they have kids and families etc to take up all their spare time. I am happily married but my husband goes out 2 nights a week to practice martial arts. I quite like the time to myself but often think it would be great to have some friends round for a chat and a cuppa or go out for a night on the town! i had loads of friends at school and in my teens but people move on. Am I trying to re capture the past or is this what life is like past 20 something? Where do people go to make friends????

Sorry for the essay and thanks in advance for any tips : )

[MargeB]

take up a sport like martial arts, dont bother joining groups on the world wide interweb, go out with ANY friend, and you'll make friends from there. And then make the effort with them. Although it doesn't sound like you'll have any problems in that department. It should only start getting harder in your late thirties.

[natty23]

agree with margeB. find a local club or team of perhaps an evenign class in something you enjoy. sports teams i think are the easiest place to make friends as you instantly have to forge bonds to work as a cohesive team, and don't forget the drinks after!

[Scarlett]

Oh bless you, I'll come round for a cup of tea!! I know what you mean though, I have kept in contact with friends from my past, but this means I only see them at Xmas and maybe once in the Summer. It is much harder to make friends once school and college days are over, as workmates become "colleagues" and nearly everyone is taken up with family/bloke commitments.You can invite your work colleagues out socially- even a drink after work helps you see people in a new light- other work colleagues may be relieved that you have suggested it!! Joining groups is harder to do alone, but if you are genuinely interested in the subject, making friends will be a bonus. Also, invite your old school mates out! Track them down (Friends Reunited?) and organise a reunion!! They will help you do this! Hey presto- lots of new mates as well as old ones...!

[hobsonbear]

if you read, how about joining a book group?  you can find info at your local library, most groups either meet at the library or at each others homes.  mine meets at a pub!  i have met people, enjoyed discussions and read books i normally wouldn't bother with although i must admit, at the pub there's a lot more discussed than just books.....

h

[chinadoll]

Agree with posts above ...you have got to get out and do something that will bring you into contact with people...library usually has lots of flyers from local clubs etc... with the spring coming in how about joining a walking club.... get out there, meet people...go on one of those adventure holidays...break out of your routine...set yourself some targets....read one new author, see one movie, eat out, volunteer, go to a concert each month.....ration television viewing...dont sit in more than 4 evenings a week.....talk to people

[ikefoona]

Thanks guys : )

I was going to go into town today and look in the library and sports centre but have been snowed in!!! Maybe i should go build a snowman and see if anyone wants to help....

Thanks loads for all your advice tho.

[Marvin84]

Well you've just made at least 6 new friends here.... :-)

(i'd come over.... except I am in Australia... a bit hard!!)

What about getting involved in local community groups? Do you guys have the SES over there (State Emergency Services is a volunteer organisation in the local community that meets once a week and gets REALLY involved in times of crisis like flood, fire, whatever....)??

Hope that this is a little helpful! :-)

[barclay]

Hey I am also in the same position as you, I have just moved home again to live with my parents. ( not permanent, just to save money ) And most of my friends have moved away or have families now. I find it difficult making friends at this age ( 25 ) I am starting a new job on monday, so hopefully i ll meet friends there. Since leaving school and uni, its hard work meeting people your own age, who also have the same interests. But when I first moved away from home, the best place I found to meet people was work. I got a part time job in a supermarket and it was the best laugh ever. Heaps of people my age, and always wanting nights out. I found some of my best mates at work. Especially if its just a fun part time job!

Good luck!! But you probably wont need it!! 

[ikefoona]

thanks everyone. I was actually looking at changing careers in the near future so maybe a department store or supermarket. I've done that before and loved it.

Thanks

[vikramdave1]

 

I suffered the same problems you had, but one of the main things i did was to build up confidence. Without confidence you cannot do anything in this world. Pursue a hobby or interest and conversate your way into a blossoming friendship. Whatever you do - do not go around "chasing" people for their friendship, make them come to you ; you end up controlling friendships and become the centre of attention quickly.

People may judge you from your general body language, the way you dress or even slickness of your words. You must try to create stern impression people this will inevitably end up defining the strength of the friendships you make with people.

[chinadoll]

I just remembered the last line of the movie....when the author is finishing the story at the typewriter and reflects that he has never had friends like he had when he was around 12 years old and then says something like " jesus does anyone" ....so I reckon you gotta be realistic as well and be positive about your situation...think your idea of working in shop etc is brill.... lots of things going on......

[chinadoll]

Yikes....forgot the movie title ....it was of course Stand by Me...

[purification]

Chinadoll: Love that movie! lol

Ikefoona: I know it's been awhile since anyones post on this but I just thought I'd ask how things are going? Have you managed to join some groups or find some interests outside the house?

Hope everythings going good for you!  

[ikefoona]

Hi,

Thanks for asking. i am fine at the moment. I have got a job interview at a lovely big nursery tomorrow where there are lots of new people so lets hope that goes ok. As for the after work social groups, not so much luck. Think i'm half scared and half lazy and its very cold outside!! (Sorry) Maybe if i get the job bit sorted first and see where that goes.

Thanks everyone for all your help and ideas.

[purification]

Good Luck for your interview! :)