How can I make myself better?

[emma177]

Im 17 and have had problems that have effected me emotionally all through my life. For example, my dad used to shout at me and my sister to 'get out of his sight' when we were really young and had done nothing wrong, he was jealous of the attention my mum gave us and not him. I was actually scared of him. Since then i've had various problems, Including bullying, weight problems, low self esteem, depression from about 11 when I started self harming. Was bullied for a year where I worked (for no apparent reason) and although I formally complained the guy got away with it. Um. Been on anti d's, had counselling since I was young. Attempted suicide. I've got mild OCD. Been anorexic/bullimic infact I still am. I get anxiety attacks and drink wayyyy too much sometimes.Got pregnant and miscarried. I just broke up with my boyfriend and now I just don't have the strength to cope. How can I help myself? Anyone had anything similar?? I'm quite scared :(

[curiosity]

You sound really resillient and strong Emma, have a look here http://www.youngminds.org.uk/ and remember as you get older you are becoming more powerful and in control and in a much better situation than you've ever been. The only way is up!

[pinktwink]

talk to your gp and consider joining some local support groups. You have already survived so much and i know it may not seem like it but things will get bettter if you work at them. It is important that you get the support you need
Take care

[Ethel]

This is easy for me to say but very hard to actually do.

You need to stop looking back and dwelling on your past problems and start looking to the future. You have had a dreadful time but only you can let that affect the here and now.

Take control and decide what you want to do and how you are going to do it.

Get help with your alcohol and drink problems - the GP is the first person to talk to about that.

What are you doing at the moment? Job, college?

You don't NEED a boyfriend - only you can get through this and when you are out the other side, you will be in a much better position to be part of a relationship.

You seem to be trying to eat an elephant - it can be done, in very small portions. Write a list of things you must do in the long term, then break it down in to small manageable tasks.

It's not going to get better overnight, but it will.

[sara3]

I agree with what has been said but would like to add something. I had a terrible childhood, and so many huge issues thrown at me in my life. you can't keep looking back, you need to look forward. you've survived all this so you are a strong person. hold your head up and look the future in the eye. you're not a victim. you're a capable woman.

move forwards and don't keep looking back. it's all yours for the taking :o)

[Scarlett]

Ethel is right. I too had a horrid Father who used to beat me and my sisters for years. We all have problems now which are completely linked to it- low self-esteem, weight problems, trust issues etc. But at the end of the day, that was then and this is now. We are not going to let him spoil any more of our lives. We are all intelligent, talented people who are entitled to live our lives happily and make a positive contribution to the world while we are here. You need to decide what you want out of life, and what you DON'T want, and what has been holding you back. Then make a step by step (little steps) chart towards positive things you can do to achieve your goals. If counselling hasn't worked, try seeing a psychiatrist. OR don't bother raking up the past anymore, and treat tomorrow as the first day of the rest of your life. Get a good pal in to help you, and talk when you need to. I do sympathise and I know how hard it is- but you need to move on.