Taking Blame

[Maypole]

I am attempting to separate from my ex husband and he is making this unbelievably difficult. I petitioned for a judicial separation on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour all of which I can prove. This however has made him go a bit mental and he has petitioned for divorce on the grounds of my adultery. This is not true and is unproveable.
After much soul searching I think I am going to reluctantly accept it just to be free of him. Surely it will bring things to a speedier resultion? I know the truth as does anyone who knows me and who I care about.
Can anyone think of a downside to my accepting this petition that I havent thought of? Im concerned I am continuing to be bullied by him but actually I just want to get on with it. Everyone says fault does not play a part in the consequent financial settlement but is this true in practice? And comments welcome...

[sarahbish46]

I'd go for it just to get rid especially as you are unhappy - he might think you won't !

[andy-hughes]

This is a situation in which you are never going to win, so if this shortens the pain, then it has to be considered.

If you know the petition is bogus, then that is all that matters.

No-one is going to be waiting at the end of this with a gold medal because you prolonged your pain for the sake of proving a point. And to whom? You know what the situation was, and you can live with your head held high afterwards.

The opinions of other people really don't matter - tell the truth to those you care about, let the rest think what they will.

Hope this helps.

[Maypole]

he most definitely thinks I wont - I keep reminding him its a lie!

[Maypole]

thankyou Andy, thats alot of my thinking and youre right I wont win, if I contest this it will be MY unreasonable behaviour and then who knows what.

It has been hard to accept that his family believe what he has told them but I guess this is the way life is.... it has been hard though and at the end of it really is just a side issue

[Panic Button]

Personally I would not say I had committed adultery when I knew I hadn't, particularly as he could use it to 'prove' his lies to family and friends.

Are there any children involved? You wouldn't want them to give him ammunition to turn them against you.

[happyjo]

The financial settlement has absolutely nothing to do with who is at fault.

The only thing your husband may do, if he is mental enough to try, is to use your admission of adultery as a tool in applying for residency orders for any children. Saying that it is unusual for the courts to decide residency merely on the basis of adultery, so I would not worry about it too much.

I was married very young and seperated because I no longer loved him. 12 months after we were both in new relationships and I agreed to be divorced for adultery for speed and ease. I never had any comeback.

Good Luck x

[QueenOfAmber]

answer my question on relationships and dating right at the top! ( my username is green ) what is your perfect guy? list all your requirements! come on and express yourself! ( lol )
thankyou for your time,
queenofamber