pseudonym No 2

[mr. piper]

has anyone got any more polite or irreverrant alternative phrases for going to the toilet, i once had a book with a list of victorian ones that were acceptable in polite company, but i like humerous and topical ones.

how about" dropping the kids off at the pool", "laying a cable", "releasing a brown trout"," going for a forest", "a pony", "a jimmy smitt", "a number two"," cut off a loaf","dropping my clod".

any offers?

[Xollob]

I have never heard the expression "cut off a log" as mentioned in Mr Piper's original question, but it reminded me of a friend at university whose brother was infamous for the magnitute and stubbornness of his Richard the Thirds (or should that be "Richards the Third"?).
The family actually had to keep a bread knife by the lavatory brush to saw the monsters in half before they would disappear round the U-bend.

[RevShirls]

I just remembered a phrase used by some of my Scottish pals: "Just going for a greyfriar's!" (abbreviated form of "going for a greyfriar's bobby")

[Clare A]

I love all of the above! Can't add any better ones. A farmer I know says 'I wouldn't go in there for a while if I were you...'. And someone once proudly described their 'visit' to me as 'Twice round the pan and still attached to my a**e!'. Another friend keeps a 'special stick' outside the back door for dealing with the, er, stubborn ones...

[d411ny]

ok i havnt heard of "jimmy smitt" but ive heard of "jimmy riddle"....anyways ere are a few more ...."going to wash the pot"......"going to give birth"..  "I have to drain the main vain"...."going for a brad pitt"

[Dusky]

I asked this question a while ago (see http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Phrases-and-Sayings/Question76284.html ) so it was interesting to see In A Pickle's paying my respects to Nelson...

[mongos bird]

crimping off some bum rope, tossing the caber, got the crab apple splatters!