Drink Driving

[roosi]

A very close family member is an alcoholic and frequently takes the car (which belongs to his wife-and she needs this car for her wk) out whilst inebriated. This person has mental health issues which they are unaware of firstly, and secondly are unaware of how much distress this causes the family looking on, this person also become a bully when in this drunk state, making the close family members scared to do anything about these actions and although, not so much now in a violent sense - moreso in the past he has been known to take this out physically which has inevitably added to the stress and fear of family roundabout them about doing anything about it. The person's marriage is over, and he lives at the family home, in squalor in another room of the house which no-one goes into anymore, The rest of the house is like you would never know that this person stays there with bottles/power tools/dirty plates/old mail/ surrounding them, curtains always shut etc.

It's breaking out hearts but we don't know what to do - would you (or more to the point should I) or someone else call the police next time they drink and drive a) to stop this (but also bearing in mind they will lost their job and probably everything and everyone else at the same time, they drive a van daily for work, and b)try and make them come to terms with their illness / alcoholism although this will break their heart and ours I reckon.

We are so stuck and haven't got a clue what to do as we are all so scared.

Sensible answers only.

Thanks

R
x

[roosi]

Those forceful people are all gone now, they were his parents and my mums parents - were the only people he would even remotely listen to, there were a few instances where they jumped in to save the day for him and us.

Just very unfortunate that they are not still with us, I miss them all terribly too.

[blackcat77]

I think that one of the previous posters on here suggested Al-Anon - I would think that they would be able to give you good advice. I feel very sorry for you and your family, it's a horrible situation, but I really think that if he goes out to drive again whilst drunk you must tell the police and if he's in that much of a state, how long is he going to keep his job in any case?
I really hope that everything improves for you soon, and let us know how you get on, we're all behind you.

[CAJ1]

As others have said, phone crimestoppers anonymously next time he's out drink driving. The alternative is to wait until he knocks someone down and is done for a much more serious offence and the misery is spread to another family via his actions. I know it will be hard but the alternative will be much harder. Try and get him to a doctors or phone a doctor for advice, if he has mental health issues they can help and maybe also refer him to a counsellor. I know you are all worried about him and what will happen to him if you report him but he doesn't care about all of you and the pain he is evidently causing through his drinking. When he is better he will see that you all did the best for him and supported him through a difficult time. I'm sure he'd rather be able to thank you in the future after all this than carry on the way he is forever. Good luck and chin up x

[Tups]

I rang the police anonymously once, at the request of the boss of an alcoholic man who drove for him. He had drunk several double whiskeys by 11 a.m.! We thought that would be the end of it but, sorry to say, the police did nothing!! Even though he was driving a funeral car, with members of the public in it!! I would urge you again to contact Al Anon. This whole things is too big for you or your family to deal with alone. You are right, there is never a good time but, turn it the other way round: NOW is the right time. Forget about waiting until after Christmas. He may have killed a child by then. But let's not just think about the danger he is to others; let's think about the danger he is, emotionally and mentally, to you and your whole family. He is out of control. It's the nature of the illness. At the moment, he isn't your father; he's a sick, dangerous man who needs to be stopped and helped to return to be your dad. Please stop clutching at straws. Show your love by taking action. Here's Al Anon's contact.

http://www.westlothian.gov.uk/sitecontent/orga nisations/charities-support-groups/support-gro ups/alanon

It will cost you nothing to try them. I know from my own experience they are brilliant! x