10year old steals

[yanthony]

My 10year old took R10, from my boyfriend's bedside without asking.  When confronted about it, he said he thought it was for school.  Which cant be the case as he knows that if I do leave money it will always be with his lunch.  I have started a new job an there has been an adjustment to be made. I have been coming home late and didnt always sign or forgot to sign his homework book.  I started managing my time better and started doing all this, then came across my signature in his book, but I didnt sign it.  He forged my signature.The matter is so serious, that I dont know how to approach it or deal with it. Can you please advise?

[andy hughes]

You need to be careful here - there may be an underlying cause in his change of behaviour. Have a word with his school and ask if there is anything untoward, and advise them what has happened, and that you are going to tackle the issue, and ask for their advice and support. i would sit him down, and ask him if everything is OK, and wait for his reaction - he may well realise that you know what he has been doing, and start to talk. If not, tell him, calmly, that you know he has taken money, and signed his book, and that this is not acceptable. Telll him you will draw a line under the incidents this time, but he knows it is wrong, and future issues will be punished. Remind him that you are there for him, and willing to listen and help with any problems, but this does not mean he can behave badly, and you will deal with him more firmly in future. That's all you need at this stage - and have a quick word with the school in a few days to see if everything is alright there. Children do behave badly occasionally, sometimes just to test that the boundaries are still in place, but careful handling will stop this turning into a major problem.

[mrs.pudding]

I think andy hughes is right.  Also, bad behaviour, lying, all sort of awful things, well they don't mean that your child is turning into a monster.  At one time or another they (and we) all do things that are really not very nice.  Deal with it sensibly but keep his actions in perspective.  Most of us have despaired of our children at one time or another but they and we come through it.

[Livy]

he only forged your signature to get himself out of troouble. Just say to him 'stealing is very serious, you'll go to jail etc'........ It's juust a pahse

[xxlizziexx]

this is a bit stupid advice but still, talk to the school about it. his form teacher might be able to see if it is forgeed or not. try and rember really hard to sign it beacuse then he cant forge it.
talk to him about it, question him like say did i sign it and if he says yes then say i cant rember doing it. or go for a differnt approch and say something like i found out that you forged my signeture, its not a good thing to do, etc. say it in a nice but firm way otherwise he might feel intimidated and thats just bad. hope this helps!

[Midgardrelm]

yes you do have to be careful here, as if you come down too hard on him he will rebel, and like wise if you are too leniant or dont tackle the situation head-on, he will carry on. I am a security manager for Asda and the amount of school kids caught shoplifting averages on about 3 to 4 a week. Not all these children need to steal, they have �5 for their dinner etc and i do feel sorry for the parents of the children who obviously do care about their sons/daughters but the children are being bullied into stealing or they are dared into it, or one or two have done it for fun, because they get what they want when they want from their mum/dad, they steal for fun.

Some children do it for attention. You might not know it, but you may, or he may beleive that you are not paying him attention anymore, and this is his way of getting your attention.

i am a parent of two boys, and it is a very difficult 'unpaid' job parenting (there may not be a salary, but the payback from their love is second to non)

i would recommend talking to the school, there may well be an underlining reason for this outbreak of his, he is entering a period of immense change, new school, physical changes, girls etc. and also get your boyfriend involved. if you do all this on your own, he will notice this and pick up on it that he has a parent who cares for him, but if your boyfriend also helps you, he will see parentS who care for him.

I hope you are successful, and i recon, by asking for advise, that you will be very successful.

[Gef]

Perhaps he forged your signature because he was worried that he would get a row because you had forgotten to sign it.