Thoughtless people

[Misty77]

I just want to have a whinge to the whole of the www and get it off ym chest, so please excuse me.... I always make such an effort to get the in-laws nice presents and cards for Birthdays, christmas, anniversaries etc I am thoughtful and try to get them things they want instead of gift vouchers or something really easy. My in laws haven't botthered with my Birthday for the 2nd year running, no card, no phonecall, not even an e-mail or a text. Why do I bother ? I'm really p*ssed off !! Am I being touchy, or i it just other people who don't care ?

[Ethel]

Some people just don't attach any importance to birthdays, or gifts in general.

Pretty horrid for you, though.

Next time it's your birthday, phone them and sing 'happy birthday to me' down the phone.

[bensmum]

Some people don't consider other people's feelings misty. You don't say how old they are - have they ever remembered your birthday?
If they are just being thoughtless you could always say "thanks for the card you sent" and see if they say anything. What does your husband say? Presumably they remember his birthday!

[coccinelle]

Some people aren't brought up to think of anybody outside of the immediate family when it comes to birthdays and Christmas. My mother was somebody who made pies for a few neighbours if they were poorly, gave them bread warm from the oven and always gave a present to them at Christmas. Some families don't DO birthdays at all after the children get to an age when they're working.
I think if your husband's comfortable with this that you stop sending cards and presents for birthdays.
I was woken up in France as birthday cards, Xmas cards are a NO (except maybe a garandparent to grandchild) and presents outside of immediate family a NO too. I still send birthday cards and Xmas presents to close friends here but get nothing in return. Like you, I wonder why I bother, but I'd feel unchristian not doing it!

[Misty77]

Yes, they remember his Birthday ! My other half just just laughs and says that's why he doesn't especially bother with Christmas and Birthdays - he just gets them something and they like it, or they don't. I think I may have to take the same attitude as him, maybe I'll just take the time and effort for my own family who do appreciate it.

[theonlyone]

I think a birthday is more important than
Xmas ...but everyone is different ...

[jen78]

My mum feels like that about my dad's family though they've never been like that really and, if anything, it's more for the younger ones.

For my aunt's husband's 60th I suggested a nice bottle of port from Selfridges, she got a pot plant for her and I can understand her being upset over that.

She find it hard when the little ones don't say a proper thank you, especially as she brought me and my brother up to do so.

[cazzz1975]

yes I can understand that misty, my sisters baby was born the same day as my daughters birthday and my parents wanted to throw a big party for him on his first birthday, my daughter however was ignored (even though it was her 12th birthday too), my sister (her aunt) hadnt even bothered with a gift for her although we made an effort for her son.

she never bothers with my sons birthday either since he was born (he is 7 now) I have given her the benefit of the doubt for so many years trying to be the better person but quite frankly I have had enough.

[~Wingnut~]

Hi Misty :o)

As this is the second year running they have forgotten I would suggest that you say to your husband that he does his family and you will concentrate on yours from now on. They will soon realise that it was you who put a lot of effort into their gifts over the years, save it for those that appreciate it :o)

Happy Birthday btw xxxx