Am I wrong to be feeling like this?

[loubeelou]

I have been with my bf for nearly a year, he spends all of his evenings at my house, I did post a question on here not so long ago about how he virtually lives with me, but doesnt really help me with the running of the house, im not really talking about the cost, I mean he leaves his mess everywhere, and rarely offers to help with the housework...I feel like his other "mum", which I know is my fault and I have been making steps to rectify this!

He said to me today that he had brought his parents a little something as a contribution to his, festive activities...meaning that he would be spending xmas day with them and not me, he went on about how much food they buy and drink. I have a child from a previous relationship which his mum does not agree with and although I have met the mum, she has never once asked me about my child she just makes genral chit chat, and whenever I have gone there I have to get my son looked after. Now obviously im going to be spending the day with my son, which in turn means I will not be invited to there little gathering!!!

If im honest, im quite hurt....he talks about marriage and a future together, yet he would rather leave me and my son on our own, whilst he spends his day with them, am I being selfish here? Im not saying that he cant see his parents but just thought that being our 1st christmas together he would have liked to have shared it with me, seen as he is here all the time, and maybe go and see his mum later in the evening....maybe im being silly, which is why I have posted this question, as I want to know how anybody else would feel?

[Sgt.Rock]

Why, oh why do so many of you women get involved with odd men who are such losers? (and then constanly complain about it).

[happyone2]

Heres my 2 penniworth :

0 you arrange a fantastic xmas with your son ( what about your parents etc why are you alone apart from him are there no other family or friends who you could invite ?? )

0 assume that he will be involved with your xmas.........he hasnt actually said he isnt so you can act as if you havent worked out what is happening........

0 dont ask him when will he be coming, assume he is coming to you at some point in the day and talk as if you have that expectation...............and even ask him does he mind not drinking so he can get back to you...................... or offer to pick him up ..............( be reasonable, but expect at least the afternoon or evening ) and tell him what you have planned for when he arrives..........................

0 drop it into the conversation your son has a lovely present for him and is really looking forward to giving it to him on xmas day and of course so will you !!!

0 ask him what little present you could buy for his parents............if he says dont bother, tell him you really must Be insistent - dont let this one drop.........

0 ask for his parents address and or postcode (even if youve got it ) or check it with him to ensure youve got it right...................so that you can send a card!


0 make what you will be preparing for him very very appealing and worth him leaving his family for !!! ( feminine wiles and all that !!!)

0 assume he is taking you shopping to stock up for xmas by asking him when he can be free to do so..................

0 either drop into the conversation before or at some point that you expect him to pay an amount towards the cost..........you decide how much will please you.

0 thank him profusely for doing so

I am of course suggesting you are subtle but use a more wiley approach to getting what you want..

[jkkerr]

Maybe after 30-odd years of spending Xmas with his family, he sees no need to change that tradition for someone he has been seeing for less than a year.

His mother's opinion on your situation is irrelevant - if your partner has any balls he will make his own decisions. There is no obligation on his parent's part to invite you and/or your little one into their family Christmas.

[lil123]

You and your son are worth much more than this.
Get out of the relationship, spend some time on your own then look for a man that will give you what you need.
I have been where you are and NEVER again will any one treat me like that

[HJT40]

I agree with lil123.

You are worth much more than this. I have been treated not how I would have liked in the past and put up with the BF's mother saying she treated his child and mine the same, he would get a small quad bike and mine would get a colouring book!

I have now met someone who, although he doesn't have any children of his own, is good to my daughter and so are his parents. It makes me sad that for years I accepted how I was treated by my ex and his family.

But now I wish everyone could feel as I do. Although at the time I never thought I could feel like this and thought that everyone else was putting up with and it was normal.