Mother and Care Home

[Velvetee]

My mother is 82 and has various health issues and is quite frail. She has carers, who go in three times per day.

6 months ago, she had a heart problem and ended up in hospital, where she stayed for about 4 weeks, she was quite alert before going in, but now seems to have changed. She appears to have poor short term memory and repeats herself constantly.

The thing is, she recently made an accusation against her 26 year old Grandson, where she accused him of saying something inappropriate to her. She told me and I just took it with a pinch of salt, but advised her to not say anything to the Grandson's mother, as she would never believe and it would cause lots of problems. She ignored my advice and told his mother, who accused my mother of being a senile liar.

My mother also told one of her carers, who of course relayed this info back to the care managers, who in turn contacted social services. Anyway, my mum was visited by 2 police officers a couple of days ago.

Now her Grandson's mother is up in arms and has said she will never speak to my mother again and nor will any of her children, as she feels my mum is trying to get her son arrested.

I live quite far away and cannot visit as much as I would like, especially now. I feel my mother is becoming more and more alienated, as she sits alone all day and will no longer have her Grandchildren or their mother visit her. I'm obviously worried for her and feel she needs more specialist care, like a care home, but she's convinced she will be abused in one.

Can Social Services automatically move her to a care home, if they deem she is no longer capable of living alone?

Thanks

[Schutzengel]

As your mother already has a care package in existence, she should be assessed on a fairly regular basis. If you are worried that she is deteriorating, you can ask for an assessment. If the decision is that she is no longer capable of living alone, even with the support of visiting carers, they will first of all try to persuade her that it is in her best interest to move into a residential care home. If this fails, then there is usually a case meeting involving her doctor and social services staff. If it is then decided that she is a danger to herself when alone, then they can obtain a kind of protection order which will enable them to advise the family to look for a suitable care home for her. You do have a choice of care home, and can visit by appointment to inspect the home to ensure it meets with your approval. I must add that I am not an expert in this matter, and can only tell you that this was the procedure undertaken for our friend who had lived independently until he was 101yrs, at which time he did become unable to care for himself, even with support. He is now 104 and settled and well cared for. We did look at six care homes before deciding on the best one. I do hope all goes well for you and your mother.

[Eastender]

Sorry to hear your situation. I dont think they can make your mother go into a care home unless she becomes a danger to herself (leaving the gas on, letting strangers into her home, going out and forgetting where she lives or self neglect). It sounds as though she is suffering some dementia they can get very nasty. It seems as though the local authorities are involved as you say that carers already go into your mothers. The best thing you can do, is get in touch with the local authorities and re access your mothers care plan. Talk to them and express your fears, otherwise they have no idea whats happening, plus the strain its putting you under. Good luck

[Velvetee]

Thank you both for your advice.

[zzxxee]

mmm a tricky one i think a proper ivestigation by the police is needed and if the outcome against this young man is false your mother needs specialist care social services cant move her but you would need to liase with them about resources she would need and how she would manage

[kira000]

I cant answer about what SS can do, but i thoroughly recommend checking this national website out. Loads of good information abot seeking care facilities, payment/funding, and how to find good ones, as well as reading the reports written about them.

http://www.csci.org.uk/looking_for_care_servic es.aspx

[terambulan]

accusation against her 26 year old Grandson, where she accused him of saying something inappropriate to her I wouldn't be too bothered about her after-care.

Tell her to stop stirring!