What are his rights, and mine?

[I love Tiggy]

My o/h and i have been living together for 7 years in a house which is owned by myself which he does not contribute to apart from the shopping so in my opinion he does not have any legal rights to the house.
However what i would like to know what my rights are as the home owner? I have told him that i want to split up due to his excessive alcohol intake and he said that he will leave in two weeks, if he does not leave after two weeks what can i do to get him out?
He's not a violent man but i'm begining to get scared about what he may do.

[pink-kittens]

I am sure you are within your rights to change the locks

[I love Tiggy]

I have thought about that but when he starts banging on the doors etc, would the police just consider it a domestic and tell me to let him in if any of my busy body neighbours called them?
Being with him is really making me depressed and low, i've not wanted to be with him for a long time and he's just showing no signs of moving. He keeps trying to buy me off with gifts i.e he has said he wants to get me a car at the weekend which i don't want. I just want him to leave

[Velvetee]

A friend of mine is in a situation, where she has been living with her partner for over 20 years. The house and all the utilities are in his name and she just contributes towards food and other incidentals.

Over the last year, he has been continuously playing away with a number of much younger women and wants her to leave. She saw a solicitor, who said she may be able to make a claim on the property, but there was no guarantee she would get anything, even though she is financially dependent on him.

Cohabiting couples do not have the same rights as married ones, unless you live in Scotland. A bill was due to be introduced in England to give cohabiting couples the same rights as mariied ones a few years ago, but it never got off the ground.

So in a nutshell, your partner probably has very little right to your home, but to be on the safe side, you should seek some legal advice or speak to someone at your local CAB office.

[terambulan]

Get the police to throw him out when he's drunk......you have to find a good excuse. threw a beer can/bottle at you etc When they arrest him, refuse to let him return 'for your own safety' leave his possessions outside, change locks etc.

If he tries to force entry, call police! Get a male lodger - OH will keep away!

[I love Tiggy]

Thanks for your answer and i'm very sorry to hear about your friend. Hope she'll be ok.

I'm just so sad that my relationship with the o/h has to end this way, his drinking has caused this issue which is the worst part. It's making living in the neighbourhood that i have grown up in very difficult

[fraggle08]

you are totally within your rights to ask him to leave (apparantly 4 weeks notice is the norm but hey) and if he refuses or if he keeps coming back, to change the locks. (personally I'd do that anyway)
The Police are getting much better at taking this sort of thing more seriously (although I suppose it depends where you live) but from a legal POV, you're ok!
if you get on well with your neighbours perhaps consider talking to them about whats happening (once he has gone) If they see him hanging about or trying to get in they will know he is not supposed to be doing that and may be able to help. also, maybe get a friend to stay with you if possible for the first couple of weeks after he has gone.
Good Luck!!

[Velvetee]

Thanks Tiggy, my friend is still living in his house, but she knows the relationship will never mend and feels cheated, as she helped him get to where he is today and he's treating her like this.

In your situation, if your partner sought help and stopped drinking, would there be any hope of saving the relationship or is this really the final straw, with no going back?

Surely if he wanted to save it, he would try to stop drinking, instead of buying you presents. It does seem the his regard for the drink is more than it is for you.

Hope it works out they way you want. Good luck.

[I love Tiggy]

If he would stop then yes we would be alright but the fact of the matter is that he has promised me on numerpus occasions that he would stop and has not so to be honest even a promise of sobering up would be too little too late.

I think the present buying is his way of exhausting his funds so he'd have nowhere else to go.

[fraggle08]

it sounds like he's trying to offset his behaviour by buying you the presents, i.e. trying to allieviate the guit, which means he must know his behaviour is not on, which means there is perhaps a decent bloke in there still!
its so sad when people you once loved become almost unrecognisable before your very eyes through drink or drugs or anger/stress etc
I have been there. its not easy and you always wonder if your doing the right thing or if you should be there for them but you have to be strong and do whats right for you.

[I love Tiggy]

There's no doubt about it, he's the best of men when he is sober but a complete dick when he isn't.
I have spent a long time 3 years now wondering whether i should stay or go and what would be the right thing.
I always had in my head that i could stay with him while i love him, but i don't anymore