my nan recently died

[sarah4444]

my nan died last week, and tonight i am going to see her at the chapel of rest. to be quite honest i'm scared even though what i was scared of has happened. i want to go so i can say goodbye and remember her in peaceful way even though i was there when she died, if i didnt go i think i would regret it but a part of me doesn't want to anymore so i was wondering what peoples thoughts were on these types of situations. i am 16 so my mom is worried i wont be able to handle seeing her.

[Barmaid]

Sarah - I went to see my own grandfather in the Chapel of Rest when I was 16. It was the first time I had seen a dead body. I thought I would be scared, and I was slightly nervous when I went in, but was so glad I went because he was completely at peace.

Only you can decide whether you want to go in, but there is nothing to be scared of. The funeral directors will have prepared your nan's body so she looks restful and just as if she is sleeping. You will only see her head and possibly the upper part of her body and she will be dressed appropriately.

I remember when I saw Grandpa, it reassured me that it wasn't bad at all. He was at peace.

Only you can make that decision though.

[raysparx1]

So sorry to hear about your nan sarah, all I will say is, if you really want to go to say goodbye, then go, your nan will look very peaceful and a lot younger she will not feel any more pain or suffering, so please don't be scared, I went to see my nan when I was about 18 and she looked so beautiful and I am so glad that I went. if you don'tt go you may regret it later, just remember it is still your nan you are going to see, so don't worry I think you will be fine, Ray

[Quizzie17]

When my mum died, I did see her afterwards, but when my dad died, I didn't and I have always regretted ever since not saying goodbye properly. You only get once chance!

I'm sure she loved you while she was alive, so she wouldn't and couldn't hurt you. There is nothing to be frightened of. She will probably look more peaceful than you have ever seen her. I know my mum did, with all her worries gone forever.

Hope it goes well for you.

[spitza]

Sorry about your sad loss, my advice is to go many years ago I lost my father,I was apprehensive about going to see him but my Uncle said he never hurt you in life so go and see him.I am glad that I did now God bless and take comfort that your Nan is not suffering.
Regards

[tigwig]

Sorry for your loss. Can I just say that I disagree with the people who say a dead person looks like they are asleep. I saw my mum in law, it was the first time I had ever seen a dead body and I found it horrifying. She didn't look asleep she looked dead! Her whole face looked different, really sunken and it scared the sh*t out of me! I don't want to frighten you in anyway but think you should think carefully whether you want that last image of your nan to haunt you (if it does) You might just want to remember hew as she was.

[blackcat77]

I have seen both my mother and father at the undertakers and my mother really did look as if she was asleep. My father looked peaceful. I found it helpful as I was able to say my goodbyes to them and I'm sure that it helped me and I think that I would have regretted it if I had not. It's natural to feel apprehensive if you have not seen a body at rest and you can only do what you feel is right for you.
Best wishes and sympathies to you.

[Schutzengel]

Sarah, some deceased persons do look beautifully at peace, but unfortunately some don't. A lot depends upon the skill of the undertaker's staff in preparing the body for viewing. I have said a final goodbye at the chapel of rest in such circumstances on several occasions, and have experienced the good and the bad. My best advice would be to ask an older relative or friend (for whom it would not be the their first experience), to visit first, after telling them of your concern, and then take their advice as to whether to go or not. If you decide not to go, this doesn't in any way imply a lack of respect. Sometimes it is best to remember the person you love as they were in life. Best wishes.

[Quizzie17]

How did it go Sarah4444 ? What did you decide in the end? Whatever you decided, I hope it went well for you and that you have many good memories of a much-loved nan.

[sarah4444]

i decided to go, my mom went in before me and warned me she didnt look like she used to, it was abit upsetting but i am glad i went and was able to say goodbye, thankyou for all your kind words and help :)

xx

[bigmamma]

Hello sarah , I was 16 when my father died and , though I was taken to the chapel of rest with the family , I decided I couldn't go in and I went back and sat outside .
Since that day , and in adult life I have seen , in the chapel of rest , my mother , sister , and brother . I was amazed at how peaceful and serene they looked , and as though they would awaken and talk to me at any moment . All the worry and pain is removed from their face . Be prepared however for how cold your loved one is as you give your last loving kiss on their forehead .
It's your decision honey , do whatever is in your heart xxx

[bigmamma]

I see you decided , with your mums advice , to go in . I hope it went as welll as it could honey and that you said goodbye xxx

[espysgirl]

Hi, I can only assume you went to see her and I hope that you feel ok with it I also lost my Nan at 16 and I did go and see her and it helped me greatly as I was not there when she died although when my Mum died when I was 22 I was there and held her hand and never felt the need to go and see her after that and have never regretted it I think your decision is totally yours and a very personal one and whatever you decided it will be the right decision. I wish you well x